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Would you date someone who was molested as a child?

Discussion in 'Debates' started by Conrannex, Feb 25, 2011.

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  1. Conrannex

    Conrannex Guest

    Now I know this is a controversial topic but I'd like to hear your thoughts.

    I personally wouldn't if I knew before hand but if she told me whilst we were in the relationship I wouldn't just drop her like a hat.
  2. msg2009

    msg2009 Romulations sexiest member

    Just posting so I can find this easier in morning, I have a feeling this is going to be a good thread.
    And no I wouldn't be bothered at all if they are a nice enough person and fun to be with, it wasn't their fault and im sure they would rather forget it. Its unfair to judge someone like that.
  3. 2DamCerius

    2DamCerius My eyes for your brain...fair trade.

    Molestation is a crime, 'nuff said.
  4. Cahos Rahne Veloza

    Cahos Rahne Veloza The Fart Awakens

    Why the hell not? If you're after "virginity" then wake up buddy, it's the 21st century nobody cares about virginity anymore you know.
  5. Conrannex

    Conrannex Guest

    It might not be their fault but what about underlying mental issues?

    What the hell are you on about?

    Speak for yourself. A lot of people care about that, it's not your place to say otherwise.
    Virginity would be a part of the matter, yes, but I'm thinking more specifically about mental issues, here.
  6. Oteupaiecona

    Oteupaiecona Well-Known Member

    Would you date someone who got beat up as a child?
    Someone who was abandoned as a child?
    Someone who lost their parents due to illness/accident?
    Does it matter?
    It's not their fault, in the first place.
    And second, sure, many people might have a deep scar with these events, and be difficult to live with.
    But many also can cope with it all, and show no differences from other people who didn't suffer from tragic events as a child.
    Do you mean you wouldn't date people that would display a different behavior because of their tragic past?
    Or do you mean that if you have prior knowledge someone was molested, you wouldn't date them, no matter how normal they seem to be?
  7. Conrannex

    Conrannex Guest

    I used a topic like this as it is more controversial and people may have more issues with this than someone with just mental scarring.
  8. 2DamCerius

    2DamCerius My eyes for your brain...fair trade.

    I find it very difficult to be in a relationship if someone has sexually molested a child.

    Where is the trust in that? The person would have no self control over his/her sexual urges and commits to groping around like a loose cannon. I think that person has major issues when it comes to being an adult and ever more mature for the sake of being morally obese.

    Sex trafficing, pedophiles, and even rapists come to mind. I mean there was this one incident that an old fart actually held a little girl hostage for at least twenty years, and he did bad stuff to her.
  9. darkrequiem

    darkrequiem Well-Known Member

    That's all well and fine, but read the question again.
    "Would you date someone who was molested as a child?"

    If you like the person enough, I'd think you'd be able to cope with something beyond their control.
  10. toffster92

    toffster92 Well-Known Member

    I REALLY hope people will still do.

    I was molested as a child, and yes, there are some deep emotional scars that, sadly, will never go away.
    But, looking at myself, I see no reason why anyone would be turned off by the fact that I was molested way back then.

    I mean, it's not like I've turned into a psychopath or a rapist or anything. It's just more baggage for me to deal with than others.
    And besides, if I myself can handle this, why can't anybody else, who haven't even experienced it, can't?

    And if I ever do manage to find a girl (which would be very difficult due to me being awkward as fuck around pretty girls), I would say it straight up that I have that sort of past. That way, I can know right then and there if they're the type of person who'll be bothered by that sort of thing, rather than finding out about it right in the middle of the relationship.
  11. 2DamCerius

    2DamCerius My eyes for your brain...fair trade.

    O.O Excuse me for just a second,

    Okay well it be alright to go out with him/her. In such a case the person will get all the comfort her/she needs from each other. I cannot ignore that fact the person was molested, but I would hunt down the person responsible for emotionally scarring such an innocent child.

    Starting with a long hitlist...
  12. msg2009

    msg2009 Romulations sexiest member

    Mental issues could come from anything from their childhood, death of a relative, parents divorced, parents alcoholism, seeing a bad car accident or bullying. Would you date someone thats had any of these?
    Just because its a touchy subject doesn't mean the victim should be treated in a different way, thats prejudice.
  13. toffster92

    toffster92 Well-Known Member

    People expect people who were molested to HAVE mental issues though. Even my closest friends still shy away from harmless sex talk when they're around me, even after I've told them multiple times that I'm fine.
  14. 2DamCerius

    2DamCerius My eyes for your brain...fair trade.

    Mental issues like what exactly?

    Emotional instability, depression, anxiety, agression, or some thing that involves becoming a sadist.
  15. toffster92

    toffster92 Well-Known Member

    Something along those lines, yeah. Though, when my friends do it, they do it more out of respect for me and fearing that it might bring up old wounds.
  16. insanecrazy07

    insanecrazy07 Well-Known Member

    Typically these people are more prone to mental disorders, mainly PTSD comes to mind.

    It depends for me. If they have these repressed memories and it affects MY relationship with her, then I'd say no.
  17. 2DamCerius

    2DamCerius My eyes for your brain...fair trade.

    Well that is disconcerning and condescending from the fact that people shy away from such a misfortune. The past in the their childhood cannot be undone, but when the people around
    treat an average person with disgust or is at least frightened have to know more about the person. Making illinformed and rash judgements can do more harm than good towards some one who experienced unfortunate events.

    Like what msg said that would just be plain unfair and prejudice. Everyone wants to have a some sort of relationship, so just give them a chance to be themselves and not frown upon them.
  18. toffster92

    toffster92 Well-Known Member

    In the end though, I really couldn't care less if people would be turned off by my past or not.

    If people wouldn't want to get to know me just because I was molested, then fine by me.
    I got enough crap to deal with in my own life, rather than worrying about if other people like me or not.

    That's why my I consider my closest friends as family. Even though they know about my past, and even after all the crap I've put them through (there WAS a point in my life where my past led me to be all depressed, distant and even hostile to my friends), they still stuck by me. And I know that this may sound something out of a cheesy movie but.. if that isn't true friendship then I don't know what is.
  19. insanecrazy07

    insanecrazy07 Well-Known Member

    To deal with emotional baggage or not to deal with emotional baggage. That's completely up to me. In fact, I can disqualify someone for whatever reason I want, too short, too tall, smells bad, too stupid, annoying laugh, possible product of in-breeding, too much exposure to heavy metals, is a carrier of an autosomal dominant disorder, blah blah blah whatever else I can think of.

    I can afford to be picky.
    If this one doesn't work out, there's plenty of bigger fish out there.

    At least I gave one little condition at the end there, as long as it doesn't affect the relationship, then it shouldn't matter. My check engine light is on for the stupid O2 sensor again, but as long as it doesn't blow up my car, I don't really care.
  20. 2DamCerius

    2DamCerius My eyes for your brain...fair trade.

    Let's turn the tables and say that you were the one who was traumatized by such an experience then what? Sure it's perfectly normal to look at a person's traits and abilities, but just as a consideration have some sympathy for the poor soul.

    What? So leaving a person who is emotionally wreaked is like not even taking the time to reason with. Some people could shrug off all the negative stuff so easily while others cannot do so. And comparing this thing to an O2 tank is too exaggerated, buddy! Don't expect everyone to be "built FORD tough."
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