Spam Thread Mk. III

I've got no clue what you just said.

 

Drink it anyway, and observe everyone's face around you as you chew the spider's legs.

 

The go home, stare at yourself in the mirror for two hours, and sob as you think of what you've become.

 

But only after kissing the mirror, because mirrors are great.

 

I guess the sobbing comes after making out with yourself in a mirror for being a sexy beast

 

[me=Athemoe]sighs[/me]

This was a bitch to code:

Spoiler: basic api coding

// *****MAIN BAR*****

defaults.text.size=8;
defaults.text.color='FFFFFF';
defaults.text.font='fonts/Vera.ttf';

// Background
image({file:'0oVXC7nt90LKddrM0K/bg.PNG', x:0, y:0});


// K/D
var kdr=p.stats.global.kills&&p.stats.global.deaths?p.stats.global.kills/p.stats.global.deaths:0;
var kdcolor=kdr>=1?'2aff00':'bf0000';

// W/L
var wlr=p.stats.global.wins&&p.stats.global.losses?p.stats.global.wins/p.stats.global.losses:0;
var wlcolor=wlr>=1?'2aff00':'bf0000';

// Fav. kit
var score2kit={
assault.stats.scores.assault,
engineer.stats.scores.engineer,
recon.stats.scores.recon,
support.stats.scores.support
};
var favkit='assault';
var favkitscore=0;
for(var kit in score2kit){
if(score2kit[kit]<=favkitscore) continue;
favkitscore=score2kit[kit];
favkit=kit;
}

var kit_sx=0;
var kit_sy=0;
if(favkit == 'assault')
{kit_sx=0;
kit_sy=0;}
else if(favkit == 'engineer')
{kit_sx=16;
kit_sy=0;}
else if(favkit == 'support')
{kit_sx=0;
kit_sy=16;}
else
{kit_sx=16;
kit_sy=16;}

// *****************************NAME BAR*********************************

// Kit Image
image({file:'06xhlEg8G19UvkJiy4/kits_white.png', x:10, y:7, w:16, h:16, sx:kit_sx,sy:kit_sy,sw:16,sh:16});

// Name
text({x:30, y:21, size:11, text.name, font:'fonts/VeraBd.ttf', color:'FF9900'});


// Script

function secondstotime(secs)
{
var t = new Date(1970,0,1);
t.setSeconds(secs);
var s = t.toTimeString().substr(0,8);
if(secs > 86399)
s = Math.floor((t - Date.parse('1/1/70')) / 3600000) + s.substr(2);
return s;
}


// 1April's list sort script
// func(list of objects, field of objects to use for sort)
var getSortedList=function(list,field){
if(typeof(list)!='object') return list;
var slist=[];
for(var n in list) slist.push([n,list[n]]);
slist.sort(function(a,b){
var v1=a[1], v2=b[1];
v1=(typeof(v1)!='object' || typeof(v1[field])!='number')?0:v1[field];
v2=(typeof(v2)!='object' || typeof(v2[field])!='number')?0:v2[field];
return v2-v1;
});
if(list instanceof Array) {
var ret=[];
for(var i in slist) ret.push(slist[1]);
return ret;
} else {
var ret={};
for(var i in slist) ret[slist[0]]=slist[1];
return ret;
}
};

// *****RANK*****
// Rank image
image({file.stats.rank.img_large, x:36, y:14, w:85, h:85});

// get weapons list sorted by number of kills
var bestweaps=getSortedList(p.stats.weapons,'kills');
//bestwep
// find best gun in sorted weapons list, excluding pistols
wcount=0;
for (n in bestweaps) {
if (bestweaps[n].category!='Pistols' && wcount!=1) {
wcount++;
if (wcount==1) weapy=33;
image({x:307, y:weapy-40, file:bestweaps[n].img, w:197, h:120});
wtext='';
wtext=''+bestweaps[n].name+'';
text({x:310, y:weapy-10, size:22, color:'FF0000', font:'0oVXC7nt90LKddrM0K/charbb_reg.ttf', text:wtext});
wtext=bestweaps[n].kills + ' kills';
text({x:500, y:weapy-10, size:20, color:'FFFFF0', font:'0oVXC7nt90LKddrM0K/charbb_reg.ttf', text:wtext, align:'right'});
}
}

//C4 Kills
text({font:'fonts/VeraBd.ttf', color:'FFFFF0', size:18, x:230, y:42, text.stats.equipment.waeC4.kills})

//C4 Image
image({file:'0oVXC7nt90LKddrM0K/c4.png', x:165, y:3, w:55, h:55});

//Defib Image
image({file:'0oVXC7nt90LKddrM0K/defib.png', x:162, y:45, w:66, h:66});

//Defib Kills
text({font:'fonts/VeraBd.ttf', color:'FFFFF0', size:20, x:230, y:85, text.stats.equipment.wasDef.kills})

//SPAS-12 Headshots
text({font:'0oVXC7nt90LKddrM0K/charbb_reg.ttf', color:'FFFFF0', size:20, x:330, y:94, text.stats.weapons.sgSPAS12.headshots + ' headshots'})

It's basically a dynamic signature for a friend of mine.
I'm glad it's finally done

Output:

 

^ cool but the coding thing above it makes my brain shut down a bit.

I'm in the mood for cookies

Spoiler

 

metal cookies, y u no give better measurements?!?!

 

2 cups flour
1 1/2 cups sugar
??? eggs (it shows 2 so i assume 2 eggs)
1 stick of butter
??? baking powder

test it and when you find out, let me know

 

The guy only noticed it when his coffee was nearly finished :<

 

@nitemare
lol i got the flour and sugar (didnt notice the eggs, thanks!), but is it a whole stick of butter, and how much baking powder. brb, gonna see if someone found out (hell, ppl found out how to make sea salt ice cream like in final fantasy, anythings possible)



after referencing and cross-referencing, i think 1-1/2 or 2 tsp will do. i read in multiple sources that the standard is about 1/2-1tsp per cup of flour. now maybe to see if there's a standard for butter, too



yeah, i think a stick of butter is good. after referencing and cross-referencing, it seems 2 oz butter per cup of flour, thus 4 ounces here, or 1 stick. as for cooking w/out laser eyes, probably 350* for, eh, maybe 15minutes and check? hrm, kinda wanna see if my parents would let me try, but idk totally seeing how as the brownies i made a week ago were a bit of a flop (still edible, but a flop none the less. if it was because i accidentally forgot to add vanilla, i will be quite pissed), even though it was a clear-cut recipe. lol hopefully this is the last time i edit this specific post!!

 

If you do make them DO NOT FORGET step 6!

going to bed finally. night...ish ^^

 

Switched gyms to one just down the road because I can't be fucked riding for ~15 minutes in the middle of winter. Walked in, made some inquiries, lady told me it was 175 bucks to join.

Managed to haggle her down to 25, feels marvellous

 

Did you woo her with tantalizing promises?

I've spent way too much time today browsing women's fashion reddits. I just kind of stumbled on them. First of all, I didn't know there were girls on reddit. But I'm fascinated. I never knew there was so much to makeup. I wish I could make art on my face.

 

No, I acted like a poor student (truth) whose pockets could erupt into a geyser of spaghetti at any time (false)

Man, sometimes I see cosplay or the clothing sections of shop flyers and I kinda feel bad that we don't get all the options women do when it comes to ostentatious clothing. My sister would make such a big deal out of her ball dress. I feel slightly better when I remember that I love looking classy and understated, and I also love looking like a university student so I wear this ratty old brown hoodie
This doesn't stop me from getting slightly excited when I buy new slim jeans though

 

I've been considering those thoughts today, man. I've never given the slightest shit about fashion, in fact I've rejected it, but I just spent my paid work day doing my fashion homework. My attire of choice is plain color t-shirts or long-sleeve rugby-strip polos and the plainest jeans possible. I think it's time I go shopping and start looking like a hipster. Not like Levi 510s tier hipster, but 513s no doubt.

I just wanna be the prettiest princess at the ball.

 

I really doubt it was the vanilla, maybe you just suck at baking

 

i make amazing meringues, so it mustve just been something w/ the ingredients

@Nitemare, if i time it right, i can prolly make a vid of me doing it, script and all!! well, not the tats and hair and that, but the recipe!!

 

bunnies