Spam Thread Mk. III

You rang?

 

What the onlookers would say is rape, is actually a family reunion over my way.
The females on my father's side are some damn good pipefitters, they shove and shove, until it fits.
Of course, they also get metal poisoning. I never said where they shoved all that cold steel, now did I?

Yeah, I'll admit it.. I did it all for the nookie, the nookie...

 

Updated my blog with what might be some depressing views on the holidays. I dunno, if you don't like them, it isn't like this is gonna make that any worse or better. If you do like them, I don't know if you'll care.

Not trying to be a scrooge, just don't like the holidays.

 

I have to stop you here, even though it's been proven wrong twice already. As much as I love my vagina and menstrual cramps a lot of this is just retarded.

1. Menstrual cramps are bad, and sometimes unbearable but there's other things that is much worse, contractions are a million times worse.
2. No they can't, although they don't have a stretchy hole like a vagina.
3. Babies in the stomach don't really feel that heavy, I know this and I carried twins.
4. At once? Someone must be retarded to try and do all those things at once.
5. Shopping bags aren't heavy.
6. I know of no woman who's eaten just salad for a week.
7. I wasn't aware that men don't have hearts.
8. Girls cheat on their boyfriends more than guys cheating on their girlfriends.
9. From the girls I've seen this happen to (which is maybe two), they did nothing BUT complain.

It's seldom I meet a woman who does stuff besides complain, you're not one of these women. In fact, right now you're complaining about being a woman, and thinking that some of these things are tough stuff (which they really aren't). Granted, this is assuming you actually mean any of the things you've said.

Also, fun fact, guys have a higher pain tolerance than girls. We're actually pussies when it comes to pain. Although women do feel more physical pain than men in their lifetime.

 

I won't claim to understand the pain of childbirth, but I did have kidney stones once and from what I was told that's the closest a man can come to experiencing it.

I pissed for 3 minutes straight after they finally got the damn things out of me and I made it to the bathroom. I had never had a piss that lovely in all my life.

 

Men passing a kidney stone has been compared to birthing a baby. Understandably so too. You're forcing what is more than likely, a sharp object out of a hole that was never made to have solid objects go in or out of it. And unless you stretched it, that hole is gonna be small, and it's gonna have an even harder time trying to not get the sharp points caught on the edges.

A kidney stone is undeniably the worst experience a male could ever go through. I hope to avoid it entirely.

Great minds think alike. Or, you know, my great mind and your mind.

 

It's bad, as much as I wanted to experience natural child birth, and I don't regret it, I don't recommend it. It hurts so god damn much that I won't bother with trying to describe it.

While Tres wasn't THAT bad for my first child, Sophie and Kat took much longer and hurt MUCH more.

This is part of the reasons why I hate my kids so god damn much.

 

Regardless of if it's a child or kidney stone, either way, both have you pushing something of unfavorable size and shape out of holes that weren't meant to stretch like that. Well, in the guys case it isn't made to stretch. For girls, I guess you're genetically made to be able to do the baby thing a little easier.

You should have gotten the epidural. Doesn't take away the pain entirely, but dulls it down quite a bit compared to natural.

 

I love this thing in particular (I've read this copypasta before). I'm still sore from moving a shit-ton of furniture into the MAN-CAVE yesterday. On the plus side, we now have like three couches, a 42" TV and a fridge in there as well as various other bits.

ANYWAY the general rebuttal for this overused piece of copypasta is "when a man is around, women are automatically and immediately exempt from picking up anything that is even slightly heavy".

 

the epidural actually messes up your back later on in life so if your kinds are like 10 and you feel back pain chasing after them now you know why

 

It's far too late, and I will never bear a child again.

Me and Pat's mancave > urs

 

I would say Nat can't have a man cave, but honestly, she gets to be an exception to this. I don't know how, I can't explain why, but she gets to be an honorary man.

 

she hates her kids shes the perfect honorary man

 

It's me AND Pat's so it's totally okay. We play games and watch movies on it all the time. Sexy times.

 

Sexy time is all the time at your house, I'm sure. Your kids will be raised on sexy nudey time.

 

how old are your kids nat?

 

3, 3, 2, 2.

Bitches.

They haven't walked in yet. Surprising, I know.

 

lol just wait till they become teens...in short: you're royally boned

i give it a year till they do

 

I don't want to fuck them, you're disgusting.

 

wait a sec what? when did i say u did?