Spam Thread Mk. III

is it safe to use on your face?

 

i need a haircut

 

i'll chop it off for you if you want.
Drake's gonna let me perform his amputation, so you can trust me.

 

yeah ok, go ahead. just dont make a cunt of it

 

I can't wait to lose half of both my arms!

 

Ha! I'd prolly cut one of your ears off.
But don't let that put you off...

srsly drake, you're gonna have to contain yourself. I can't perform the op if you're fidgeting all over the place from the excitement.

 

it's ok, i dont wear glasses. i could handle losing an ear.

 

That's fucking weird, dude. I just got back from booking a haircut.

 

I got a haircut yesterday.
Unfortunately my hair is hipster trash.

 

I like you now. I'm not going to hurl nearly as much abuse at you as I used to since you appear to have grown up considerably. Fuck yeah.

But yeah, you should wear nerd chic and listen to really obscure music like post-avante jazzcore. Then proceed to troll other hipsters.

 

nooo i did mean ratchet but didnt take time to even check who the person was

 

Fine, what if i accidentily jab one of your eyes out with the scissors?

 

Thanks bro.

A load of hipster guys have self-confidence problems, all you have to do is make a small joke about one piece of clothing they're wearing and they'll get pissed.

e.g. "Nice hat barbie."
...Now that I mention it, they might think I'm hitting on them.

 

then the scissors would have eye juice on them and you wouldnt want to do that to scissors

 

stay the fuck away from my eyes woman

 

You know, if nex and Sarra haven't gotten it on before I pick up my first American girl while I'm on holiday I'm gonna be real disappointed in them

 

eye juice? that's disgusting, littlekill.
The scissors will be after you while you sleep. So like watch out, cause no one's safe.

fine, no haircut for you.

srsly, the boy doesn't even trust me with a pair of scissors.

 

i'd trust you if you were naked, even if you had scissors

 

what if i did naughty things to you whilst being naked.
would you still trust me?