Spam Thread Mk. III

Oh, jeez... that sounded just awful. I'm sorry that happened to you and your friends...
Pros: You have friends you can trust, you were badass and won your first fight, now that you're friends with a McD's manager enjoy some free food.

HAHAHAHA! xDD I love how seagulls there even hang around the fast food joints. The seagulls here claim their turf right in the middle of the McDonald's parking lot to attack those throwing out french fries. They fight, the adults fly after and attack the little ones if they take a fry, and then sometimes there's just a dead kidgull laying there.

There's nothing like finding your sadistic side than running over a seagull. That poor GM, though.


Three? I'm assuming you get into enough car accidents?

Hahaha! What a traumatizing event and yet you stay so calm... and then speed up. And then you do a 360? You sure you weren't trying to get some roundabout blood on your hands?

Oh boy, this American mind can't comprehend driving through one of those. Us Americans can't use difficult shenanigans like a roundabout. Too many lives would be at jeopardy with that.

 

I'm an American, and I can easily handle the roundabout. In fact, I go to roundabouts whenever I can to hold mock NASCAR races every time. It beats doing donuts in the backyard!

 

Well, this is embarassing.

"Oh boy, this American mind can't comprehend driving through one of those. Us Americans I can't use difficult shenanigans like a roundabout drive, so I'd end up running over everyone anyway. Too many lives would be at jeopardy with that."

 

You're awesome. Please drive to my neighborhood. There are plenty of stupid idiots running around my driveway, and bringing horses that shit all over the road. It would make my driving to and from work much more pleasant.

 

Can I help?

[me=hYpNoS]wants to run someone over[/me]

I'm an aussie-and in this suburb it's normal to drive crazy


I drive 5 below the limit, I just accelerate like crazy.

And I have yet to hit anything except the time I backed into a shopping bay...back bumper had to be replaced...

 

Count me in on that. I've always wanted to be on the news for running over children who violate my driveway.
Hahaha! You too, eh? Hopefully your area cleans up the shit, though. We just leave ours for weeks until it looks like dust.

- - -

And so you have hit something? Don't feel bad. Maybe you'll be one of those "poppin' fresh" old men who makes it on the news one day. You'll be famous.

 

You don't live in America, so, no.

5 below the limit? You call that 'driving crazy'?

Driving below the speed limit instantly qualifies you as a wuss!

By the way, I drive 15-20 miles ABOVE the speed limit (which is 24-32 km in metric.) Because I'm awesome!

I'm in California. I'm certain if you get your hands on a GPS, I can give you the crossroads to where I live, so that you can handle the clean-up. I'll pay you $1000 per frag, and $5000 per horse frag.

 

You kidding me? I was born in California. My parents didn't want us children getting shot, so we moved across the US. That's my life story.

Work for so cheap? Hire the foreigner.

But I wouldn't mind getting my hands on your GPS.

 

good night

 

Lady,

$1000 per frag isn't cheap. In fact, it is the standard price per frag. And considering that there are a group of fuckers in my neighborhood that travel in a pack along with a horse, that's like instant $10k right there IF YOU NAIL ALL OF THEM PLUS THE HORSE! And there are at most like 15 groups of those fuckers that pass by within an hour, so you'll find yourself netting ~$150k/hour if your driving skills are as good as you say.

But, if you insist, I can double the rate. $2000 per frag, and $10k per horse frag. I'm willing to negotiate.

Oh, and speaking of GPS, sure, I can give you my old Tom-tom. Bad news is that the power adapter jack broke, and I can't get passed the security screw to re-solder the connector.

 

Good night to you.

Your neighborhood sounds like shit, sir.

Is that so? I can't say no to a deal like that. At this rate I'll be richer than Oprah.

I feel like I'm playing a live version of Grand Theft Auto. You just need a few hookers strolling the sidewalk and it'd be set. I'm back in this game!

What? Bah, keep it, then. You can chuck it at one of those kids who run around your driveway.

 

That's the spirit! You're hired!

Tell you what, if you can get passed the security screw that is preventing me from re-soldering the connection, I'll be able to fix that up for you for free. I just need to access the electronic mounting board of the connector, so that I can re-solder it.

 

It's how you drive, not the overall speed.

 

Oh yeah? I can also execute turns on the local road at 40 MPH (64 km/h). Also, I accelerate from zero to 60 MPH (96 km/h) in four seconds. Can you top that?

 

I'm pumped for this! ...Tomorrow. This protagonist is pretty tired. I'll be done before you wake up. Think of it as an early Christmas present.

Wtf, how am I expected to do that? Should I ram that with my car, too?

Free, you say? It's a deal.
Pfft, I'll end up throwing it at the kid, anyway. I can't use that thing unless I'm walking to my destination.

Good night!

 

By finding the appropriate-sized precision security screwdriver...

 

I only drive a 4 cylinder, so no to the 96km one.

Infact, I say your a more skilled driver, but..I dunno how to explain it.


Maybe because I nearly rammed a guy on purpose one time because he nearly hit me while over taking, maybe it's the time I hit the hazards and blocked some guy on a 2 lane road...


I'm not skilled, just mental.

If that one is for me, I felt horrible since it was the first accident, and to this day the paint hasn't been corrected from the repair.


I'm over it, as long as the car is running I'm good (I'd say mint...but too many parking dints...and not from me-stupid super market car parks!)

 

Huh.

 

"Huh" indeed.

 

hypr, i just had a look at your youtube channel...

[me=hYpNoS]approves[/me]