Parenting: Dealing with "Different" Kids

To add onto Cahos's point, males can be born with large amounts of estrogen which is a hormone typically dominant in females (as testosterone is a dominant hormone in males.) Estrogen in large amounts can cause breast enlargement as well as sexual attraction to males.

So yes, the hereditary arguement is indeed a valid one, but that's not to rule out that homosexuality is a matter of choice completely. Some males (perhaps dominant ones) do choose to be in homosexual relationships for whatever reasons they have (ex. not having enough "luck" with girls, etc.)

Oh, and hi by the way.

 

I'm sorry man i normally agree with you but it is bull, there is no way it can be hereditary, yes if you talk in the sense that it may run in a family that the males are born with different hormone levels but that's a week argument at best.
and that story about the brothers is not proof at all actually i can tell you now what it is from what you described.
just because a child wears a dress does not mean they are gay, children do that all the time.
have you ever heard of a self forfilling prophecy, its when a child is told something so much the believe it and that's what they become, like your naughty (i hate that word) if the child is told they are naughty all the time they will act naughty. or if told the are worthless they will believe it and become worthless because they never do anything with their life because of the fact the believed they will never do anything right.
so in the case of the brothers you talked about the proof about where the gayness came from is the fact that the guy had 4 oppressive brothers that beat him all the time and told him he was gay, his gayness was most probably brought on by psychological damage not that he had a grandparent that was gay.
i do agree that hormones can play a factor but its not hereditary.
sorry man i didn't want to put you down and i hate agreeing with legand but he's right.

 

That's also a legit argument equity, don't fret over it.

But can you turn gay because people say you are? Sure he was beat up, because of his behavior, but according to the Interview, he was the only one of the four to ever dress up in their mom's dresses, all the other four really took after their dad, plus can you suddenly find yourself "liking" men's tools just because you were told that you liked them? Based on your argument, if he was beat up for cross dressing, couldn't he have become a cross dresser instead? Being comfortable in girl's clothes but still getting boners for girls? And what of the gay porn mag, did he got it, say from his brothers or from his dad, I think not. He probably got that himself.

And I've even heard stories of all boy siblings giving each other "spoons", but all turn out to be straighter than the rays of a laser beam.

And oh, I do believe that no matter what people say about you, you are the one who have the last say as to who or what you are, yes your life experiences mould you into your identity, but ultimate you have the final say as to who you are.

 

I should have mentioned that there is a gene that is responsible for producing large amounts of estrogen in males.

Too bad I can't find a copy of an old article that I read years back, but there were males born with that gene that did develop homosexual tendencies.

 

OK, I just stepped out a bit to have breakfast, but while eating, I was thinking of what to say to support my argument, so here goes.

If homosexuality is not passed on (I'll stray from the hereditary factor argument for a while), then how come it has existed in human society for thousands of years now. Surely it's got something more to do than just "social" factors", because it has existed even from the oldest &/or greatest of civilizations. In ancient Greece, homosexuality was considered normal & infact Pedophilia was accepted, there were accounts of families, being greatful for a gay benefactor for a son & in Rome, the Gladiators were considered as objects of sexual desires. Even in ancient Judea homosexuality was accounted in the old testament (yeah the bible's contents may be arguable at best). And here in my home country, before the Spaniards brought Christianity, before the Chinese merchants ever set foot in our shores & way before Islam took a foot hold in one third of our population, we had an Ancient Monarchial society & at its core wasn't the king or a Queen, but the priesthood, composed of Gays & Lesbians. Yes, in those times, gays & lesbians were considered as Messengers of the Gods, as they can understand both what men & women need or desire, they were known as the "Babaylan" or Babai - lan, babae is woman & lan the contraction of "lakan" or "lalaki which is man.

And before any of you think otherwise, I'm not gay.

 

not so true, what about people who beat up their families or pedophiles they don't say they want to be that way its normally always because of psychological damage brought on by it being done to them (its a sick world but it happens, i was on child protection training today and it just makes you sick the things people do to their own loved ones).

the mind reacts to things as we grow up and your thought processes change, it can't be helped its just what we do, like some girls/women that are raped become very over sexual people like sleeping around. or in allot of cases that we suffer abuse or something we dislike, as a coping mechanism our brains turn it in to sexual fantasy.
if you talk to people with fetishes they can link it to an early expedience and offten try to recreate that experience.

but to be honest we are all different just because you come from the same background doesn't mean you'll be the same, i know I'm completely different from my eldest brother. and we had the same background.

there could be many circumstances that someone is the way they are and it tends not to be for just one reason but our childhood and the experiences we have DO mould us in to who we are and its the choices we make that take us down different paths.


(written after your last post)
being gay is not odd, the brain just desires something. you may like blond or brunnett women or small or big tits, you may be attracted to certain shapes or looks. i know i like short curvey white brunetts and even the thought of someone like paris hilton makes me sick in my mouth.
i can explain sexual desire i'm not a psycologist but i do know we do like different things so although it may seem odd that some one is gay its just different desire from others its only social context that makes it seem wrong.
animales in the wild do it all the time like loins (i think it was a lion) have been recorded buggering each other when they can't get any pussy (see what i did there ).

 

That I think depends on the cultural constraints of an individual, here in our country, which is still pre-dominantly conservativist, women, especially girls who've been raped either by a relative (incest), a friend (or one acting as a friend) or by strangers don't turn out as being more sexually inclined as you've said. Most of them go in the other direction, they become hateful of their bodies & tend to hide it, the worse case scenario is they turn onto the church as a means for seclusion & become nuns, no really.

See? Even animals can turn homosexual given the "right" conditions, so it can be a genetic thing after all, or hormonal at best. Like being a convict, because you're in an environment where there are only males around, so you have no choice but to make do & "do" your fellow in mates.

And I do agree with you, sexual preference is nothing to be hidden or be ashamed of, it's not some disease you can cure, as some used to believe (or still do), nor is it something you can just freely "choose" to be your identity. A lot of factors come into play, & if as a parent of such a child will just label it as such, how can you help your child come into terms with his/her existence & what part of this crazy world of ours he/she should fit in.

 

keep in mind though, they're still young, and in other words, they're not so developed yet. they still can be changed.

 

interesting topic

firstly, it doesnt matter who,what or how my kids are, ill love them just the same

secondly, CRV you are completely correct, homosexuality can in fact be passed down, sure some things in life can influence a brain to develop differently resulting in homosexuality, but more often than not the brain is programmed already to have a sexual preference to the same sex.

third is a massive rant.

I have heaps of gay mates, most of them more manly than most men I know. I despise homophobes, I also despise people who bag on gays. Theres nothing wrong with it, get with the fucking program. My gay mates hit on me all of the time when we go clubbing, and shit to be honest im flattered!. Some people are born male, some people are born female, i dont see you fucking complaining about that! just as some people are born gay. And no I dont think gay is an offensive term, if people want to use it to cause offence then thats thier fucking problem. Gay people dont need to be changed, they're just normal people, end of story.

(that wasnt really aimed at anyone here, more at the person who on friday night called my mate a fucking homo and soon after whos teeth met both fist and foot.)

 

What's with homophobia anyway?

I mean, there are a lot of homosexuals in society, some are even influential members of society?

The "fear" or hatred may have been brought on by news of a Pedophile raping kids or things like that, but just because one or a group of gay/s raped a boy/s doesn't mean all homosexuals are like that. And how come when a teenager girl is raped "men" tend to think that she might have not "enjoyed" the encounter so she declares being raped? Both are sexual assaults, but why does people tend to draw onto the homosexual attack more?

As equity said, it's just a matter of sexual preference so why bash a person for what turns them on, as long as they're not harming others to meet their desires.

 

most (more like all) pedophiles are not gay alot have wives and families and its most often be someone you know and trust.
here is a statistic for you, in the uk only 6% of chid death caused by abuse was by someone not known to the family ether as a member or trusted person.

i don't see why people have problems with gay people, i don't have gay mates but i couldn't care less if one came out as long as they where happy, altho to be honest i don't like overly camp people but thats not to do with them being gay but more to do with the attention seeking behavior drives me crazy.

 

I know that gay men & lesbians in other countries like in the US don't quite mix in with transvestites, because transvestism is not entirely, but can be considered different from homosexuality in a sense but here, ugh!!

Gays here insist that if you're gay you should look like a girl, dress in women's clothes, have boobs & to an extent have sex change operations & in gay circles, being a butch or manly gay is considered ugly. Really, I know they fight for non discrimination but if they themselves are putting themselves in ridicule, who should they blame if people discriminate against them, themselves.

I know it's a bad example but take a look at the old TV Show "Will & Grace", if you didn't know Will & Jack were gay, you'd think they're straight good looking studs. It's one thing to be respected, but you should have enough respect to yourself & others to not make yourself a target for people with not enough understsnding.

 

wait, so basically there are two kinds of homosexuality, the kind that like to show it off, and the one who would prefer to hide it? and isn't the point of a sex change operation is to prove to people that you're normal inside? not that (i've gone through one)

 

sorry, wrong text placement. the '()' mark on my last pose started right after the question mark. i know, double post, scold me, but i want no one to think i'm half-and-a-half

 

As I said it depends on the culture prevailing in a certain place where gays &/or lesbians live.

I'm not against gays in general, but the gay population here in the Philippines is something I really am not happy with. As I said earlier, gays here want to "flash" their gaity, by looking like girls, & they even have this unique own jargon that kinda singles them out. It's one thing to be respected for who you are, but it's another thing if you flaunt your identity too much.

Anyway, in regards to your question as to if there are two types of gays/lesbians, let me elaborate.

If we talk of physiology, there is no gay/lesbian, there is only a "male" & a "female". If we talk however of "sexuality", which incorporates things like sexual preference, there were originally only three, "man", "homosexual", & "woman", but in recent years homosexuality was broken up further & now we have the "sexuality ring" (no offense guys):

Man - straight men
butch gay - gay who likes physical relations with men or gays, but does not feel like he needs to be in a woman's body.
Gay Gay - gays who are into men or other gays & have this need to have a tremendous physical change to feel happy or "complete".
Effeminates - these incorporate people like cross dressers & guys who have physical attributes that look womanly (that is, they have petite bodies, their face is girlie looking), they're gayish in that they feel comfortable looking girlish, but still want women as their partners.
Women - straight girls.
Girl lesbian - lesbians who like girls or lesbians but girlie looking themselves.
lesbian - the "typical" lesbian, wears man clothes, likes girls & lesbians, & to some extent, won't be happy without a major physical change.
Butch lesbians - manly looking girls, but still want men.

There was even this joke on Will & Grace, that if you turn gay too much, you'll turn straight again.

And in South Park, Mr. Garrison went full Circle, first he was a man, then felt gay, underwent surgery to become a woman, turned lesbian & became a man again.

 

I think i'd struggle with them but I could manage as long as they aren't too extreme but as for 4 I wouldn't let them, if they want to be like that they would have to live somewhere else but that wouldn't happen, if anything my children would have a dislike to gays.
I wouldn't result to violence though if it's not my child's fault but I would have tests for the fertilised egg/embryo to check if there is any extreme problems, I don't have a problem with ethics to abortion and I don't find fetuses cute either.
Asperges syndrome is nothing, it is curable as long as the child doesn't think they have got it and people treat them normal; that or doctors diagnose wrong alot of the time.

 

He probably doesn't have it but the doctors have diagnosed that, smartness isn't always present though it's just a better memory I think...