Magic Vending Machine!

you get porn

I insert girlfriend

 

you get a boyfriend (suits you)

i insert a hard drive loaded with porn

 

You get hentai.

I insert my penis.(Lol)

 

you get a vagina

i insert a hamster

 

You get a ham.

I insert a lesbian.

 

You get a homosexual

I insert my foot into the machine

 

u get 3 seconds of miniscule sex appeal

i insert my BF

 

You get dumped

I insert Nitemares chopped off head

 

you get my full self to murder you

i insert a dead shinchanfan

 

You get a alive me who whoops yo ass

I insert a dead finalmario

 

you get a living him and me to beat ur ass

i insert two gay guys pounding shinchanfan

 

You get a disturbing scene before them deciding someone else (almost anyone else XD) would be better.

I insert a Christmas tree.

 

you get a stolen car radio

i insert a drug dealer

 

you get a police officer

I insert a dollar

 

You get a lesbian porno flick starring nitemare and mint

I insert Oprah

 

you get Dr. Phil explaining why Porn is wrong

I insert earplugs

 

You get falcon ears.

I insert ellipses.

 

you get a half eaten moon what smells like rotten cumsy cheese

i insert a penny strapped to a string that has got LINE cancer

 

you get "busted"

I insert explosives

 

You get a badge
I insert a hilarious comic book