Magic Vending Machine!

You get rush.

I insert my cellphone.

 

You get a baby I insert a bomb!

 

you get a cherry bomb ( cherries soaked in vodka)

i dump in a can of sea-foam engine treatmen

 

you get a dead body I insert a knife

 

you get a swiss-army knife.

I insert the entire swiss army

 

you get a swedish army.

The loch ness monster is now inserted!

 

you get Bigfoot

I insert a piano

 

you get a xylophone

i insert an 8GB usb flash drive

 

your files are now ready to use.

I shall now put this Luger into that machine.

 

You get out a Mind implosion.

I put in my Crappy old ds.

 

You get a PSP Go!

I put in a pair of leather gloves

 

you get knifegloves.

now, this box o' ammo is inserted.

 

* Theme of Link found item in chest * plays... you got a army!

I put in ... nintendo (without the jerks who are programming the AP)

 

You get Sony.

I put in Chuck Norris.

 

you receive the power of awesomeness

I shall put zis sniper rifle in ze vending machine!

 

You get the protoss snip...
I insert a 3ds

 

You get a paper weight.

I insert my leg.

 

You get a foot

I insert a coin

 

A $100 bill comes out

I shall put this combat knife into the machine

 

You get a ballistic knife, ala' COD Black Ops.

I pour my brandy-laden drink into the slot...