I need YO MAMA jokes!!!

Your momma is so ugly that when she entered a haunted house, she came out with a job.

 

Yo mama so fat, I got lost running around her.
Yo mama's butt is so big, she mooned a guy and he turned into a werewolf.
Yo mama so fat, she ways as much as her cell phone number.
Yo mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the SuperBowl.
Yo mama so fat, she jumped for Joy. Joy wasn't so happy.
Yo mama so old, she owns Jesus five bucks.
Yo mama so stupid, she stared at an orange juice cup cuz it says CONENTRATE.
Yo mama so dumb, she thought adding a squid + fish = a squish.
Yo mama so fat, she thought 60 Minutes was the time it took to eat.
Yo mama so dumb, she put M&Ms in ABC order.
Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for gas money.
Yo mama's face so ugly, she got arrested for public mooning.
Yo mama so old, I got mad at her for being immature, told her to act her own age, and she died.
Yo mama so old, her first history class was about yesterday.
Yo mama so old, her birth certificate says expired.
Yo mama so poor, she was carrying a trashcan, so I asked her what she was doing, she said 'moving'.
Yo mama so poor, she put a cheeseburger from McDonald's on layaway.

WUTWUT.

 

Yo momma's so fat, when she went on a weighing scale, it read out "To be Continued.".

 

Yo momma's so fat, her blood type is B, as in, Bearnaise sauce!

 

Yo Mama's like a squirrel always got some nuts in her mouth!!!

 

Yo momma's so stupid, it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

 

Yo mama is SO fat, she needed a 16 Gigabyte USB to store ONE full bodyshot picture of herself.

 

Yo mama so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck.
Yo mama like a bowling ball, finger her, throw her in the gutter and she always comes back for more.
Yo mama so stupid, a lesbian woman asked her out and she said she was gay.
Yo mama like school at 3 o' clock, children always coming out and no one knows who are the fathers.
Yo mama so big she took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.
Yo mama so fat she got 11 moons.
Yo mama so fat she fell down in China and caused the earthquake in Haiti.

 

Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor slapped her parents.

 

Your mamas so ugly the last time she heard a whistle was when she got hit by a train!
Your mamas so dumb she sent me a fax with a stamp on it!
Your mamas so old he birth certificate says "EXPIRED"
Your mamas so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.
Your mamas so old she waited tables at the last supper.

I know more but forgot

 

your mothers so fat when she jumps in the pool all the water jumps out

when your mother goes on the scales it comes up with her mobile number

 

Your mamas so ugly,that when she went to a strip club they paid her to keep her cloths on
Your mamas so fat that when she jumps in to see the whales start singing"We are family!...."
Your mamas so ugly that when she looks at a mirror it brakes

 

your mama's so fat she fills the bath, then puts the water in
your mama's so stupid she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side
your mama's so fat she has her own orbit
your mama's so fat she has her own gravitational pull
your mama's so fat when she fell down the stairs, i thought Eastenders had finished ;D

 

Yo Mamma's so stupid, she thinks just because she had sex in a phone booth that it makes her a call girl.

 

Yo mama is like a shotgun
One cock and she's ready to blow!

 

Yo mama so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.
Yo mama so lazy she's got a remote control just to operate her remote!
Yo mama so lazy that she came in last place in a recent snail marathon.
Yo mama so bald even a wig wouldn't help!
Yo mama so bald you can see whats on her mind.
Yo mama so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed!
Yo mama so short she poses for trophies!
Yo mama so short you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!
Yo mama so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
Yo mama so short she can play handball on the curb.
Yo mama so short she does backflips under the bed.
Yo mama so short she models for trophys.
Yo mama teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles!
Yo mama teeth are so yellow she spits butter
Post Merge: [time]1270199563[/time]
Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up

Yo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo"

Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

Yo mama so fat were in her right now

Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise

Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors

Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...

Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world

Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy

Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!

Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!

Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"

Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"

Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized

Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway

Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

Yo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets

Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th

Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"

Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"

Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.

Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!

Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code!

Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!

Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth until she moved!

Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...

Yo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.

Yo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

Yo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!

Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!

Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

Yo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.

Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!

Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

Yo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!

Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!

Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!

Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!

Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!

Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!

Yo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!

Yo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!

Yo mama so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!

Yo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!

Yo mama so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!

Yo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car!

Yo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!

Yo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!"

Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway!

Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!

Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th

Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too

Yo mama so fat she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it!

Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck!

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Yo mama so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping

Yo mama so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.

Yo mama so fat when she back up she beep.

Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.

Yo mama so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.

Yo mama so fat she influences the tides.

Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.

Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.

Yo mama so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.

Yo mama so fat she was baptized at Marine World.

Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!

Yo mama so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.

Yo mama so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her

Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones.

Yo mama so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.

Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.

Yo mama so fat shes on both sides of the family

Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through

Yo mama so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Yo mama so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.

Yo mama so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.

Yo mama so fat she cant reach her back pocket.

Yo mama so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!

Yo mama so fat her college graduation picture was an airial.

Yo mama so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water

Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out

Yo mama so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth

Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures

Yo mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.

Yo mama so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.

Yo mama so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.

Yo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.

Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....

Yo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.

Yo mama so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.

Yo mama so fat she was baptised in the ocean.

Yo mama so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.

Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.

Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"

Yo mama so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!

Yo mama so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

Yo mama so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.

Post Merge: [time]1270200573[/time]
Your Mama So Fat...

when she step on the Weight Scales it says...'to be continued'...

she once went on a seafood diet...whenever she saw food she ate it!

folk exercise by jogging around her!

when she bends over, we enter Daylight Saving Time.

she sat on a Nintendo Gamecube and it turned into a gameboy

she make Kiko the Whale look like a Smartie

NASA plan to use her to shore up the hole in the Ozone layer

she was measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm...

small objects orbit her.

she make olympic sumo wrestlers look anerixic.

when I tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips.

when she farted she launched herself into orbit.

she lost a game at Hide&Seek only cos I spotted her...behind Mount Everest.

when I had to swerve to avoid hitting her on the road I ran out of Petrol!

she could be the eighth continent.

she nearly put Safeway out of business

the only thing that's attracted to her is gravity.

her Uni graduation photo was an aerial

when she auditioned for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark she got the part of the big Rolling Ball.

she make Jabba the Hutt look anorexic.

her fave food is seconds.

her belt size is Equator.

she eats Desert out of a Trash Can lid

she wears an 'X' jacket and Copters attempt to land on her

she shows up on radar.

she needs a map to find her butt.

she fell into the Grand Canyon....and got stuck!

she wears an asteroid belt.

her Passport photo says 'Picture is continued overleaf'

she has TB ... 2 bellys.

she's once, twice, three times a lady.

she was in the Daily Record last week on page 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.

the circus use her as a trampoline

stunt agencies use her as an air mattress

when she opens the Fridge it says - 'I give up...'

she got a new gig at the Cinema...she works as the screen

she once told me 'I could eat a horse'...believe me, she wasn't kidding!

she deep fries her toothpaste.



Anything Yo's - So Fat...
Yo Grannie so damn fat, that if she was an Aeroplane, she'd be a Jumbo Jet.

Yo Grandpa so fat that he's half Scottish, half Irish and half American

Yo Wife so fat she fell off a boat and the Captain yelled, "Land Ahoy!!!"

Yo Priest so fat, when he bungee jumped he went straight to hell...

Yo Doctor so fat, that when her Beeper goes off folk think she's backing up.

Yo Auntie so fat when she goes to Gap the only thing she can fit into is the Dressing Room

Yo Bookie so fat he gotta buy clothes by the furlon

Yo Dentist so fat that when he burped he blew out all yo mamma's teeth...that why she so ugly!

Yo Papa's so large when you climb on top of him your ears pop.

Yo Father so fat that when he sat on a Rainbow skittles fell out.

Yo Sister so fat that even Richard Simmons can't help laughing

Yo Sis so Monstrous she uses Soccer balls for earrings.

Yo Father so fat he can't even tie his own shoelaces

Yo Mama so huge that God created her...and on the seventh day rested.

Your Kid Sister so fat the Japanese Sumo Wrestling squad had to turn her down.

Yo Star Trek fan so fat he make Riker's beer belly look 2 atoms thick

Yo Lawyer's so fat...we're inside her right now.

Yo' Baker so freakin fat he masturbates when reading cookbooks

Yo Auntie so fat that Weight Watchers threw her out for breaking the scales.

Yo Boss so fat that when she calls a board meeting she has to pull herself up a Sofa.

Yo Air hostess so fat that on a scale of 1 to 10 she a 747.

Your boyfriend so fat he hasn't seen his feet for 10 years

Yo Bro so fat that when he farted, Mars came out...and I ain't talkin bout the 'sweetie'

You Nana so fat that when she went for a swim in the ocean she caused a 60 foot tidal wave.

Yo Music teacher so freakin Fat that she whistles Bass

Yo Postman so fat he got his very own Post Code

You cousin so fat she's on Both sides of the family.

Yo Girlfriend so fat I ask her to go get a Curry and she bring back 80 pounds of gravy.

Yo kid brother so fat he sat on 4 quarters and made a dollar.

Your Mom so fat she uses a bed mattress for a maxipad

Yo wife so fat she got more nooks and Crannies than a Ploughman's pastry

Yo Sister so fat she got a new job DJ'ing for the Ice Cream Van.

Yo Momma so fat all chairs in the house have their own seatbelts.

Yo Dog so fat that when you take it 'walkies' it don't know whether it walking or rolling

Your Mommas so fat, when it says All you can eat it still ain't enough.

Yo' Astronomer so fat she plays pool with Venus....and Neptune...and pluto...and...

 

yo mama so fat go fat club

 

Yo mama so fat her clothes come in three different sizes large, extra large, and oh my god its coming!

Yo mama's so fat that when she fell in love she broke it

Yo mama's so ugly when I took her to the zoo they said, "Thanks for bringing' her back!"

Yo mama's so cheap, she's on the dollar menu.

Yo mama's so stupid she thought a quarterback was a refund.

Yo mama's so ugly, American express left home without her.

Yo mama's so fat, she got Baptized at sea world.

Yo mama's is so stupid when she went to Walgreen's she said "hey, these walls isn't green.

Yo mama's is so ugly that she entered in the ugly contest they said, "no professionals"

Yo mama's is so old, when god said let there be light she flipped the switch

Yo mama's is so stupid she thought Fruit Punch was a Gay Boxer.

Yo mama's is so fat, she wore guess jeans and the answer popped out.

Yo mama's so stupid she sat on the TV and watched the couch.

Yo mama's so fat she has more rolls then the towns bakery

yo mama's so fat, the only way to get her out of a telephone booth is to grease her thighs and throw a Twinkie in the street.

Yo mama's is so fat she drives a spandex car

Yo mama's so stupid she took a spoon to the super bowl

Yo mama's so stupid, I told her to take out the trash and she moved!

Yo mama's is so fat that when god said," Let there be light," he told her to move her fat ass out the way first!

Yo mama's so fat she tripped over wal-mart, stumbled over k-mart, and landed on target.

Yo mama's so ugly your dad takes her to work so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye

Yo mama's so dumb she brought lipstick to a make-up test

Yo mama's so poor when I asked her why she was kickin that tin can across the street she said she was moving.

Yo mama's so old when I told her to act her age, she died.

Yo mama's so fat that when we went out to the restaurant she looked at the menu and said sounds good

Yo mama's so fat, she put on a Malcolm X T-shirt and a helicopter tried to land on her

Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a rainbow and skittles came out.

Yo mama's so fat that the last time she saw 90210 was on the scales

Yo' mama's so fat, she wears two watches -- one for each time zone!

Yo mama's so fat she needs one barstool for each butt cheek

Yo mama's so dumb, that the Psychic Friends only charge her half price to read her mind!

Yo mama's so fat, even God couldn't lift her spirits!

Yo' mum's so small she's got to slam dunk her bus fair

Yo mama's so stupid, she put a ruler next to her bed to see how long she sleeps!

Yo' mama's so fat when she walked into the all-you-can-eat buffet they had to install speed bumps.

Yo' mama so stupid, she tried to steal a free sample!

Yo mama's so fat when she steps on a scale it says, "To Be Continued..."

Yo mama's so fat when she steps on a scale it says, "One at a time please"

Yo mama's so fat she sweats mayonnaise!

Yo mama's so hairy, she could be sold as a Chia pet.

Yo mama's so big, her belly button has an echo.

Yo mama's so stupid that she thought that babies came from the infantry

Yo mama's so fat, when I swerved to avoid her in the street I ran outta gas.

Yo mama's so stupid she sold her car to buy petrol.

Yo mama's so fat, she held up her stockings with hula-hoops.

Yo mama's so stupid, I told her it was chili outside so she went outside with a spoon.

Yo mama's so stupid, she climbed up a tree talking about branch management.

Yo mama's so fat, she wore a red sweater and all of the kids pointed at her and said, "Kool-Aid Man!!!!".

Yo mama's so fat, she went outside in a yellow raincoat and people yelled taxi.

Yo mama's so old, she got her drivers license on a dinosaur

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears her "B.V.D."s they spell boulevard!

Yo mama's so fat, she's got more nooks and crannies than an English Muffin

Yo mama's so fat, that she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.

Yo mama's so fat that this town really ISN'T big enough for the both of us

Yo mama's so fat, she has smaller fat women orbiting around her!

Yo mama's so poor, she stands outside Kentucky fried chicken and licks other peoples fingers!!!!

Yo mama's so fat, Christopher Columbus claimed her as the new world.

Yo mama's so fat, she's got more Chins than a Chinese phone book

Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like her neck threw up

Yo mama's so stupid, she had your brother thrown in rehab, cause he was Hooked on Phonics

Yo mama's breath is so foul, she uses a lynx as a breath freshener

Yo mama's so fat, they had to let out the shower curtain

Yo mama's so fat, she wears a watch on each arm. One for each time zone

Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu

Yo mama's so fat, after she gets through turning around, they throw her a welcome back party

Yo mama's so fat, she don't take pictures, she takes posters

Yo mama's belt size is the titled the "Equator"

Yo mama's so fat, her baby pictures were taken by satellite

Yo mama so ugly, she's like Taco Bell. When people see her, they run for the border

Yo mama's so stupid, when she locked herself in the bathroom, she peed in her pants

Yo mama's so old, she owes Jesus 3 bucks

Yo mama's so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone

Yo mama's so stupid she used a real mouse to use the computer.

Yo mama's so old she can't tell her family from enemies.

Yo mama's so stupid she drove all the way to New Mexico with the handbrake on.

Yo mama's so stupid she combs the hair in her nose and not on her head.

Yo mama's so stupid she bought a used ring that has never been worn.

Yo mama's such a loser she acts like she heard you and just walks away.

Yo mama's such a loser she rings her flat mate to ask 'can I make out with you?'

Yo mama's such a loser she uses Microsoft Word to write a love letter.

Yo mama's such a loser she sends jokes to this site about herself.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to get out of the car to change radio stations.

Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a dollar and made it four quarters.

 

yo mama is like home depot .. screws for 25 cents

 

yo momma's so fat, that when she walks in America the whole earth has a earthquake.