HELP!? fight advice etc.

how old are you guys?

private or public school?

 

This, as well as this quote from the lyrics from Sting's Song "Englishman in New York":

 

Grow up. When diplomacy is an option, you don't have to fight back.

 

Why does he have to grow up? Sometimes fighting is a better option, and bullies often cannot be reasoned with.
Run all you want, you will get caught one day.

 

The initial event was clearly a result of a misunderstanding rather than malicious intent.

And I'm sure I distinguished between diplomacy and "running away". Oh look, I did indeed:

There are differences between conflict avoidance, conflict resolution and conflict escalation.

I fail to see how simply explaining oneself (ever heard someone say "no harm done"? Hint: it never happens after a fight) is a worse idea than wailing on someone and causing physical, social and possibly emotional harm. You have a daughter, right msg? Do you want her to get in trouble, perhaps one day arrested, because she couldn't keep a cool head and instead got aggressive whenever something happened that she didn't like?

 

Bullies need to be dealt with, have you ever tried reasoning with one? If it worked they wouldn't be bullies.
In his situation it wasn't strictly a bully so diplomacy may have been worth a try but

If you let people walk over you, they will do it again and others will see this happening and do it too, especially at his age in school, everyone wants to look "cool and hard" etc.
All it takes is show people you are not to be messed with and they will leave you alone.

My daughter is not the fighting type, she's quiet and shy and I don't ever recall her losing her temper. If she does and gets into trouble she will learn like I did.
If she ever wants to take up self defence/ju jitsu because she is having problems like the OP, then I will happily teach her. I believe all girls should have some kind of self defence training anyway. 7 is too young though.

 

Fight advice? Never start one. If there's literally no other choice and you cannot resolve a conflict via diplomacy, end it fast. There's no such thing as honorable fighting when removing a threat. EVERY part of your body is fair game to me if you insist on pushing a fight on me. Only idiots try to engage in an honorable fight, so take advantage of it. Kick the guy in the balls, use your knees, use your elbows. Take him down efficiently and leave.

 

I would replay but msg has seemed to make it clear. It seems obvious that you have never been bullied or being in a fight with people that use actions before words plus these people you can't be diplomatic or try reason with.

 

Hahaha, the older brother thing can be mitigated by just attacking him head on. The thing with older brothers is that they expect to be intimidating just because they're older. I'd prefer not to give him/them this comfort and rush straight into it. If you have friends who can fight that's even better, show them your friends have your back. Always look for the cheap shot, it's effective and pretty funny in hindsight. If there is anything loose lying around use that too. Fighting is about instinct, speed and surprise. Try not using your fists because they can get messed up in a fight. Elbows, knees, makeshift weapons are where it's at.

If you could beat the crap out of him and walk off looking casual your boss points will go up dramatically.

 

Pretty much this. I never ever start a fight and I always try to walk away but sometimes you can't, at school its bullies and when you get a bit older its pissed up guys in a pub.
End it asap before you get hurt.

 

I'd explain myself and then leave it.

THe rest of the advice here...generally works, especially the walk away one.

 

You don't know someone's mental state, if they are physically altered(drugs,rage, or just being a prick.
That being said, if you don't treat a fight as if it could be your last, it could very well be your last.

Civility is a novelty it seems, as more people turn to primal urges, and thus the need to pick on someone and start a fight.
The last time I got into a fight, it was a brawl, three of us verses five of them.
It ended when one of them had their face smashed through their windshield.
They had knives, bats, and yes, one lone .45.
Funny ass story, we got sued for it. It was thrown out for having no merit, the one who started it had to have 18 stitches(as he was the one that ate windshield), and I got a reputation for being a brawler. I'm not, I do all I can to actually keep the peace, which unfortunately, involves conflict at times.

Use your best judgment, if it feels like you're going to be in trouble, then defend yourself.
I'd tell you to walk away, but honestly, would you rather die with a bullet in your back, or in your skull?

 

Don't call people names. That's pretty dumb that you even punched him.

 

I just re-read the OP's statement, and noticed he was calling people names.
Well if you initiated the fight, then it's your battle and seeing as you can call people names, then you should be able to defend yourself when they take offense to your behavior.

 

Exactly. And that's why I don't do any of that dumbass shit.

 

How do you know he was calling people names. I know it ain't nice but I call my friends retards if they are being stupid or get something wrong. Also it says that the other guy misheard and started the fight

 

he posted that after watching this video...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyRE4POIGqg
seriously though if it was at school, walk away...if you fight you may have bigger problems on hand, family as well as social...
*flashback
When I was younger I got into a fight with a guy...turns out he was well connected and rich...I did not know this...he looked poor...
I punched him in the face cause he got too close..he left.
I thought I was cool and smug, and knew he would not do anything.
Next thing you know there are 4 guys in front of my house ready to kick my ass.
It was all a misunderstanding, so i explained that.
They were ok with it and left...
The next day me and the guy became friends, even to date we are...
The fight was about "looking at his friend the wrong way", when in fact it was sunny out and my eyes where squinted
It's not necessarily how wealthy they are, but also the kind of attitude they have.
The guy might have an vengeful attitude, and its not predictable what he might do.
People get mad over the smallest things.
It is best to walk away, it does not always turn out that well.

 

I hold that this can be achieved without resorting to violence. I'm not a big tough guy, I don't go around getting into fights, but nobody tries to mess with me to look "cool and hard".

Look, I may be a pacifist, but that doesn't mean I abhor any and all violence. I just have a greater threshold for determining when it is necessary - as Suis said, when there is literally no other choice. With bullies and probably most common criminals, that's not the case.

Also, pic related:

 

I've never been in a fight. There were close calls, but I never had to resort to violence. I have every means to get into fights and I can beat the crap out of most people I get into arguments with, but reasoning and talking about things are the best way to go.

Next time it happens, explain yourself. Tell him that what he did, that jumping you from behind thing, was very dirty and uncalled for.You too must apologize, for hitting him in the first place. It will all work out if both parties are civilized and well-mannered humans.

If it goes on after you have done anything and everything to solve things properly without the use of violence, WORK OUT. Get buff. Jog. You don't have to necessarily learn a martial art or practice boxing and footwork if you're gonna get into a fight with this guy and potentially his big brother, which might or might not be of average to sub-par physical state. Having your body at a better condition, being stronger and faster, will give you the advantage you need. This working out thing can thaw out in more or less a month if you're dedicated and disciplined. You'll gain enough muscle mass for them to notice. Plus, being bigger than you were he last saw you will add the intimidation factor, even maybe leading to the fight not happening at all.

TL;DR: EXPLAIN YOURSELF. DIDN'T WORK? GET BUFF. SCARE HIM AND HIS BROTHER OFF, OR PREPARE TO KICK ASS.