"Good luck, bad luck"

And it just so happened that said rocks contained the fossils of alien lifeforms.

 

but the alien fossils come to life and it was an invasion of trillions upon trillions of undead aliens

 

But Ash J. Williams, Alucard, Dante, Alucard, and Vash all joined the fray to defeat the undead aliens.

 

but the two alucards were having a conflict because they had the same name and it become a battle of alucard vs. alucard instead of
undead killers vs. undead aliens

 

Then Integra scolded Alucard for being an idiot and not focusing on the real threat, and ordered him to focus on the undead aliens.

 

but Alucard (Castlevania) wasn´t Alucard (Castlevania) it was Dracula

 

Then an undead alien attacked Dracula, thus pissing off the first true vampire and invoking the Count's wrath.

 

But Dracula melted, for the shame that was put on to vampire (Hem, Twilight), and Edward Cullen committed suicide.

 

The death of Edward Cullen was enough to give a massive morale boost to the undead hunters, whom then defeated the undead aliens with ease.

 

But the undead aliens we're repaired with ease, using their massive technology.

 

But their technology was sabotaged by Dr. House, and all of their blood was replaced with acid, thus ending their existence.

 

But, the RandomNumberGoddess decided to give back their existence, but give them kinder hearts.

And then the RNG kills the best character there is... With a 1% crit

 

but then johnny wakes up realizing that he had a dream in a dream.

 

And decides to...

 

But it fails, and he gains a new liking to life, and Cosplays as Vash the Stampede, the most badass gunsligher EVA.

 

but then the original Vash appears saying that he is pissed of people making cosplays of him and chases johnny around the whole world

 

But then he offers a peace deal with Johnny, who accepts, and they share some donuts.

 

but the donuts were made of centipedes

 

Which were surprisingly delicious.

 

until he choke on it