Don't worry. I write vampire stories, but not the dreaded 'T.' To me, those are not real vampires. They sparkle! What vampires sparkle?
And there Edward was, sulking as usual. "Bella, my dear, I will forever love you, but to keep you totally safe I hate your guts." Bella gives him an indifferent look and a wispy smile. "Oh Edward, you know just how to make love to a girl. Vampires don't qualify for pedophilia. Your cold, long, hard...." Muahaha.