Crayons: A staple diet

"Being confused is a good thing", said gay Bill when he fell under lawnmower.

 

So absolute yeah so absolute don't you know it?, and then when winter comes we shall glide to Canada on our Poke'mon and alternate between eating and savaging all of their penguins. They may well ask such questions such as and so forth: "but we have no penguins". To this we will infer "ah, but the application of the term penguin can be subjective and not-applicable or rather kapslok en slash eh if you prefer in your native language".
To this they would furrow their spines and declare themselves protected under our former agreement made during the aftermath of the Eskimo war "non again shall suffer the degradation at the hands of a tiny purple dragon trying to reach a geographically higher altitude".
These pondering shall be to no avail, our mission may be carved in biscuit; but a stern and non-relenting biscuit she is. We moved to adjourn the meeting to the Arena of Facts, our needs met we chose our weapon; the favour of Odin was requested and the powers of Zeus were upon us. They chose modest weapons such as licking marmalade out of their armpits whilst a goat played the fiddle, they fought valiantly, soon they had succumbed to our might and were forced out of their independent coffee houses and back up the fannies of the gorilla that spawned them.
And that's how Brown won the election.

 

the froggie turned out to actually be venom from spideyman and me must escapes out of here fastly but venom was too fast to escapes and mast be tayken down baut I don't gots no moar power just then superman became immune to kyptonite and how is that possible? in the world of imagination everything is possible so if I think I have power to eat venom up oh look i got the power now so I went up to venom and i ate him up but oh no now superman think i bad guy now but venom was bad guy and i save world from him but superman disagree and went to me there was no other way but to eat him too sorry super man so i ate hime and he said not mr biley as last words and now who is me biley just then another bad guy from other game come and said "join us to be evil and evil is very cool we have big feast everyday and we also have chocolate ice cream and waffles for dessert" and now I couldn't disagree with waffles so I join the dark side but when he take me there it was just a tiny box and then I heard a big lazor powering up oh no it shoot me now I emit dark aura and now I have become evil and then evil man who did that to me come in. I see name tag and his name said john d. biley oh no that what superman meant by mr biley he has turned me evil and he control me to destroy the world oh no!!!!!

To be continued...

 

I think this will be locked.

I once was putting a pencil into a giant crayon and the pencil slipped...
The pencil dug into my pinky finger and it took out almost all of my skin down to my nail.

It was SO FUCKING DISGUSTING!!!

I just wanna throw up when I think about it.
I have a red scar where it healed over, but that image of the flesh and gore still haunts me to this day...

And people wonder why I'm not grossed out by cuts and shit.

OH!

Another time!
I got a knife for Christmas.
Sharp as hell.
And I was opening a package.
So then, the knife slips.

Cuts my left thumb open and somehow bounces off of my thumb and cuts all the way up my right index finger.
That was pretty disgusting too...

And another time, I had surgery done on my mouth. I got my front right tooth knocked out by eating cement while flipping off of my bike when I was younger.

1) They removed some bone in my jaw and placed it in the part where there was no bone where the tooth used to be.

2) They put a metal screw thingy in my mouth and let that heal.

3) They put a fake tooth in my mouth, but they had to tighten it which took around 5 minutes to screw into the hole thing. That hurt like a bitch cause I didn't have Novocain...though I like some pain.

And then I got a permanent tooth a few weeks ago!! ;D

That's all I have to ramble about.

 

There ain't no such thing as a free lunch, as they say, but i think they're right and wrong. Whats the price for my mom's deluxe bagel sandwich today? Hmmmmm....

 

$8 for me.

The lunch made for me, plus 2 cans of coke, and some bakery treats.


[me=hYpNoS]needs more than 4 sandwiches, a 2ltr bottle of water, apple, banana, a chocolate bar and a yogurt for lunch[/me]

 

That's a big lunch.

I barely eat anything as it is cause I just don't feel hunger...

 

i ate a 2kg bag of lollies today. very wholesome meal.

 

I eat that much of spaggetti bolegnaise, and I ask for more.

 

I ate a bead once cause I was bored...

 

ive done that once but it was because i had nothing else.

 

I used to eat paper when I was in middle school cause I didn't have time to eat breakfast.

I later learned to beat hunger with the mind.

I hardly feel it anymore.

 

oh i thought you said bread, not a bead. i miss things when im tired

 

I have learnt to channel malnutrition into endless power.

 

Me too, but I just woke up, but I'm still tired...

How?!

 

easy... in the form of bile missiles that zombies attack instantly.... I have the disgusting world at my feet, only i want to get them outta there.

 

my latest feast was interrupted by a wizard who apologised and turned my sandwich into one twice as large. i was next to a castle wall and on grass with temperate forest.

 

You said that it wasn't true, but she told me otherwise; I've no reason to doubt you yet Her hair looks like liquid gold silver with frost. I don't have time to think about this any longer, if the time consequences of every moment last all the time that I'm capable of knowing, knowing nothing means that I haven't lived and no consequences mean I must do to begin my conception.
The Flare Bear frowned at hIM with eyes of timber, his own existence burns him in ways we only know in words, he takes his hat off and glares right through them; no one can know (not even the only one with my heart locked in their chest) no one knows and no one really understands, caring is worthless.
SHUT UP MATT YOU EMO SCUM, SORA SHUDDA MARRIED TAI

 

HEAR HEAR

 

Succeed the noun shall you Baldrick?!
Brown hair, purple dress, blue eyes, white dragon in her pantsohGodshe'snotagirlafterall
Typing without spaces goes against my primitive caveman instincts
<Inferring your incredulity
I see it in my dreams, the Pig beast beckons, nail a warm flannel to a washing machine but it won't sing songs in Italian you moustached Pete!