Ask BL4CKB34RD:

maybe at the davy jones locker...

hey can you do this?[objection]

 

So, there has been a sudden influx of ask me topics... how will you approach the extra competition?

 

i want a pirate dictionary... where can i get one? XD

http://www.tide-mark.com/pirate_dict.html
http://www.cathymarcy.com/CDXtrasPage/PirateDictionary.pdf
http://www.io.com/~sj/PirateTalk.html
http://www.privateerdragons.com/pirate_dictionary.html
http://www.the-pirate-ship.com/piratedictionary.html
http://www.thepiratesrealm.com/pirate%20talk.html

Oi nay tinx so, lad. Davy Jones be his own judge, jury, an' executioner!



So, there has been a sudden influx of ask me topics... how will you approach the extra competition?

Competition? Competition?! Oi thinks yeh be overestimatin' me immitators.

Whales firsts offs, imitation be teh sincerest form o' flattery, so oi'm nay annoyed. Oi means, who would nay want teh be loike yers truly? After alls, yeeoo started teh trend, so's yeeoo should knows! Miroightormiroight? Anyhaows, me biggest concern be wif teh quality of otter "Ask" topics. Oi'm jess nae convinced otter query answerers be qualified teh offer vital loife coaching advice. Are these charlatans sound role models loike myself?

RomUlators can be very impressionable and be in need of advoice from successful mentors such as myselfs has teh offers.

Yeh knows, oi believes tat children are oar futures.
Teach dem well and let them leads teh way.
Show them all the beauty they be possessin' inside.
Gives dem a sense of proide teh makes it easier.
Lets teh children's laughter remind us how we used to be.

Everybody searching for a hero loik BL4CKB34RD.
Peoples needs someone teh look up to.
Oi never founds anyones teh fulfill me needs.
A lonely place to be's.
So oi learned to depend on me.

(Some wench named Tina Turner stole tat chanty from oi)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0A_4t1elTTs

But anyways, kamage, oi digresses. Teh point is, while others be focussin' on teh quantity o' ter "Ask" replies, oi's loikes teh focus on quality. Sao oi nay be threatened. And ifs oi ever deeoo feel threatened, oi kin jess call upon me poiret horde. An' yeh know accidents happen. Yeh never kin be too careful loike, yeh knows? I means one day oi sends oat Gnasher Killigan teh get me a keg o' rum, an next thing yeh know, Gnasher be back at the ship, oi be sloshed, an' three "Ask" topic creators be in Davy Jones' locker. Jess happens once in a whoile.

 

well dear ol' blackbeard - you be roit, it be me that wishes to join de crew of yer ship. And it was a head shot and he went inside crying like a lil girl Never saw him again : Anyways me dear ol' cap'n i gots another one for ye. My mother's pet's daughter's owners sister's friend's friend's dog's mate's owners bird's father's owner has died and we don't know what to do with the birds... do we sell them or do we like gah and kill them and then eat them? Plus me matey, my friend's friend's brother's friend's sister's boyfriend's wife's uncle wish to know the name of yer ship? be it the white pearl or the sinking englishmen? what be it ol blackbeard?

 

Can oi n'd meh shipmates do away with tis rapscalleon's ^ schenannigans? Oi thinks oi got a perfect negotiation method to gets teh rapscallion teh tawk in clearer sentences if'n ya know what oi means?

 

I can barely hear a distinct difference between the pronounciations of Oi and Aye, how can you listen to it so fluently without getting confused?

 

what do you call your crews?

 

did you already ate a human?

 

do you have a parrot?

 

What kind of sword do you use?

 

if you have a parrot does your parrot have a stick for a leg or an eyepatch?

 

Do you like men? I'm horrible

 

Wanna go get a burger?

 

do you even like burgers?

 

what about nachos?

 

How do you keep your mind off a girl?

 

what will you choose the love of your love or the sea?

 

ARRRRGGGGH! Heh, heh! Aboat me absence: Oi jess got me AceKard in teh post an' oi been so caughts up wif it oi been neglectin' me correspondence. Mighty inscutable o' oi, oi knows. I be a hopi' none o' yer loives felt too empty wifout me. So let me be gettin' to it:

well dear ol' blackbeard - you be roit, it be me that wishes to join de crew of yer ship. And it was a head shot and he went inside crying like a lil girl Never saw him again Anyways me dear ol' cap'n i gots another one for ye. My mother's pet's daughter's owners sister's friend's friend's dog's mate's owners bird's father's owner has died and we don't know what to do with the birds... do we sell them or do we like gah and kill them and then eat them? Plus me matey, my friend's friend's brother's friend's sister's boyfriend's wife's uncle wish to know the name of yer ship? be it the white pearl or the sinking englishmen? what be it ol blackbeard?

Wif teh birds, it really be dependin' whether ye be at sea oar nots. If ye bea at sea, yeh kin eats em. Or if dey be fancy loike birds, yeh may be ables teh trade 'em to a witch doctor or an aristocrat. If'n dey be love birds, den de only choice be teh use 'em teh woo a classy wench. 'Course most o' teh toime oi advises AGAINST wooing classy wenches. They be way too much aggravation, but feral in teh hammock! As teh de name o' me fair vessle?! Hao many toimes must oi be sayin' it: QU33N 4NN3'5 R3V3NG3!

Can oi n'd meh shipmates do away with tis rapscalleon's ^ schenannigans? Oi thinks oi got a perfect negotiation method to gets teh rapscallion teh tawk in clearer sentences if'n ya know what oi means?

Wooo! Yeh be talkin' me language! Props fer yer correct toipe usage o' poiret speak! As per yer "negotiation method"? Oi be ole ears, mate.

I can barely hear a distinct difference between the pronounciations of Oi and Aye, how can you listen to it so fluently without getting confused?

"Oi" be teh pronoun "I" while "Aye" be an affirmation meaning "yes" in teh common tongue.

what do you call your crews?

Tey jess be teh crew o teh QU33N 4NN3'5 R3V3NG3. Me roster be quite long o' individual crew members names. Plus it be proprietary, sao oi ner' post it.

did you already ate a human?

An' why not? People be teh otter white meat!

do you have a parrot?

Had a parrot. Made im walk the plank when he refused teh learn teh sing "Blvd. of Broken Dreams".

What kind of sword do you use?

Sword? Sword! Yeh be a funny loike man, crazytuna! See, oi nay use a sword. Oi use a plethora o cuttlery in me arsenal. I have a staggering collection of swords. Toe oi be prefferrin a cutlass mosts o' teh toime, oi have more ten oi can counts. One fore ery occasion really. Oi gots me wenchin' sword. Me sword wif teh rum corkscrew built in. Me blue tooth compatible sword. Me torturin' sword. Hounted swords and cursed ones. Sword made oat of beastie teeths. A sword for whens oi go to teh DMV. Ole toipes. Oi kinda haves a fetish for 'em, truth be tolds.

if you have a parrot does your parrot have a stick for a leg or an eyepatch?

Oi thinx yeh been watchin' a bits too many cartoons, laddy.

Do you like men? I'm horrible

Oi'm nots quite sure wear yeh be takin' tis query, boyo.

Wanna go get a burger?

Oi thinks oi knows tat guy. He lost teh Monkey D. Luffy in a eatin' contest oi bet on in tortuga. Luffy wons o' course. Tat guy looks pretty happy. Loike oi did teh first toime oi slitsed a throat. Sniff... sniff. Soory. Teh memory still gets me all choked up. Good toimes....good toimes.

do you even like burgers

I be partial to teh Bacon Western Cheeseburger:



what about nachos?

Oi hoighly be approvin' o' nachos. Wif extra jalepenos an calimari. Oi get every toime oi be in port in Tampico.

How do you keep your mind off a girl?

Nao tat be trick query, roight?! Me mind OLEWAYS be on teh wenchies!

what will you choose the love of your love or the sea?

Oi nay be a "sole mate" toipes a bloke. A wench or six in ery port, says oi. An' teh sea be me paf to teh wenches o' teh world!




All aboard! Me sassy wenches!

 

Well.. Fur teh negotiation method oi was thinkin' we could toip his eyes up wif teh sticky tape n force 'im teh watch teh soap opera's n listen teh music by tem Girls Aloud, wifout tem videos thar be nuthin' wurth of tem harpies, nuthin' teh luk at ya see n teh add a plot twist we could stick him in 1 year old melted cheese, french likes wif teh blue stuff...
Or we could always make him walk teh plank?