Ask BL4CKB34RD:

Do they still put figureheads on boats these days?

 

@ Cahos, i know, i just wanted to sound piratey

 

BL4CKB34RD - how meny chops dose a wood chopper chop if a wood chopper is chopping down a tree ?

 

By Calypso! NEVER DRINK EGYPTIAN RUM. Trust me ons tis one! We raided some off a Moroccoan freighter. I brought some teh port an' shared a couple jugs wif some o teh local wenches. When oi wokes up, me coin was gone, me boots were gone, me memory was gone, and four days were gone! Nao me head feel loik a barrel full' o bilge rats! At least no ones messed wif me beard. Will, lives an' learns, oi gusses.

So plox be excusin' me absence. I'm still a little rum headed, so's fergive me if me answers seems a lil' muddled.

Do you think I'm over enjoying this asking questions thread?

Oi nae be sensin' a bit 'o o'er enjoyment. Keep teh queries a comin', boyo.

do you have any hidden treasure inside your beard?

Harrrrgh! Dat be a question oi invoites teh wenchies te foind teh answer to! Oi have been known teh offer free mustache roides to the lasses from toime teh toime!

did you already feed one of your crew to the sharks?

Nae. Whenever I feed teh sharks, Oi feed at least three crewmember to 'em at a toime. Jess feedin' em one would be an insult! Once you've eaten a member o' teh QU33N 4NN3'5 R3V3NG3, yeh kinae' jess eats one!

This be good recroitment video?

Nay. One too many ninjas, fer me taste! Ta be true, some ' teh sentiments did stoike true correct.

who desided to be brainy and bring BL4CKB34RD back from the past ?

Avast! So "Wolf-'d-emo-pawn" has a question? Yeh knows, on QU33N 4NN3'5 R3V3NG3 emo's be teh first crewmen that gets fed to teh sharks!

Do you have a half-naked girl fastened to your ship, like other pirates?
Isn't that called a figurehead, believed at one time to be a sort charm to ward off misfortunes at sea?

Nay. QU33N 4NN3'5 R3V3NG3 be havin' two wenches fer our masthead! An they nay be half-naked!

Do they still put figureheads on boats these days?

I be seein' less and less mastheads these days. An' it ain't roight by teh sea, says oi.

So you said you specialize in interior decoration
so I was wondering if I should get a black sofa that would match with the TV but now you see couch arent given so should I get the couch or just a chair?

Well, yer query be lackin' enough infermashion teh truly give yer matter justice, but oi'll offer sum suggestions. First, consider a large net hammock with flat pillows in place o' a sofa. If yeh kin'ae git yer mits on a hammock, get a davenport instead. But knowin' teh colour o' yer TV would help.

do you see Kamage as a friend or a rival on RomU ?

Oi thinks it only be fair Kamage haves a venue teh offer his lubber toipe advoice. I'm sure der be plenty o' week kneed slack jaws who kinae' handle teh rigors o' sailin' loife. If anyone kin helps such curs, Kamage cans.

BL4CKB34RD - how meny chops dose a wood chopper chop if a wood chopper is chopping down a tree ?

See, nows Wolf-d'-emo-pawn, yeh gots me confused loike. Be teh chopper choppin' daown trees or be he choppin' daown chops?

Well, until nex' toime, a bit' o words teh live by:
A poiret ne'ver drinks wine, but keep some on hand for teh wenchies jess ta same.
Keep yer powder dry.
Every sea dog should play Hotel Dusk at least once.
Keep a dagger or a pistol in yer boot. Or both. Saved me scoundrel neck more ten a few toimes. (jess don't shoots or stabs yerself in teh footy loike me first mate did)

 

is this about right?

 

is this about right?

Nao tat be an 'xample o' sound science! Oi's gonna print that bill offs an' post her up in teh galley! We troi teh engourage propper loike nutrition on QU33N 4NN3'5 R3V3NG3.

I was quite fond of the 10" Boer fighting knife I carried when I was in South Africa. That thing was nasty.

Oi gets goose fleshy jess hearin aboot it! Kin yeh do a scalawag a propper an' post a pic 'o yer Boer?

 

What's your ship called? and have you ever seen davy jones?

 

Do you think Loony is intrigued by your thread?

 

What is the Pirate to Ninja ratio at your docks Leetbeard?

 

Do you use bombs to raid a ship? or grenades? what do you use to raid a ship?

 

what would you do if your crew mutiny & left you in the middle of no where

 

what will you do if your confronted by davy jones?

 

What's your ship called? and have you ever seen davy jones?

Argh ya tryin' teh crack woise?! I be teh cap'n of oar very owns QU33N 4NN3'5 R3V3NG3! An' nay, I ain't seen ole' Davy Jones 'imself. But oi haves caughts a glimpse o' his ship, The Flying Dutchman. An' teh soight aboat turned me beard whoite.

Do you think Loony is intrigued by your thread?

Oi have narry a notion as teh wot Loonylion be intrigued by. Buts I loikes his tastes in cuttlery.

What is the Pirate to Ninja ratio at your docks Leetbeard?

Nao, tis be a tough query. See, a good ninja be one tat be hard to see if tey be scene at all. Tis makes it hard to calculate an accurate loike ratio, see? Oi went to a port in Fukui one day an' apparently der had been a great ninja celerbration and all the ninjas were pass-out crunk. An' oi tells yeh, der was ninjas layin' all overs the place! In teh rain gutters, under the boardwalks, in teh mail boxes. Yeh could hardly takes a step wifout tripping over one. Course tat what's it like in Japan. Nao takes a place loikes La Havre, France. Der be no ninjas der tat oi'm awares of. Mimes, on the other hand! Der be LOTS of mimes. An oi HATES mimes! But dey be fun to feed to the ships pet shark, dat be fer sure.

Do you use bombs to raid a ship? or grenades? what do you use to raid a ship?

One o' arg crew members loikes teh play wif black powders. Sparky Rawlin's The Two Fingered. We calls him tat on accounts o' his penchant for pyroism an' since he lost a couple finger's playin' wif the black powders. Nao don't gets me wrong. He's made some right fun poppers. Oi always keeps one o' his toys when in port. A couple bombs in me sash can come in real handyloike when yeh gots ta make a quick exit! As fer usin' 'em in raidin', oi prefer teh stick wif me cutlass and hogleg. 'Course te bombs come in use fer scuttlin' teh ship after teh raid. Right good query.

what would you do if your crew mutiny & left you in the middle of no where

Yous be one funny loike man, Wolf-d'-emo-pawn! Would nevers happens! Oi dinae loikes teh brags, mind ya. But servin' on QU33N 4NN3'5 R3V3NG3 under teh cap'nship o' yer's truly be considered a moighty honor. Poiret loife din'ae get muc betters ten dis! Once, we shanghaid some frenchmen an' tey discussed mutiny, but one o me bosuns caught wind o der plot an fed 'em to oar pet sharky.

what will you do if your confronted by davy jones?

Nao don'ts talks loike tat! We dinnae wants teh invoke teh wrath o' The Flying Dutchman! Oi's gots a LONG loife teh lives, says oi! An Angolan wich doctress read me palm an quoite unequivocally promised teh seas would smoile on me rewardin' me wif a logs loife. So dinae jinx me! Nao, if'n oi met him, oid probably challenge him to a jig contest teh spare me loife. I dance a ruddy good jig! Udderwoise oi'd put me beard betweens me legs and kiss me arse goodebye!

 

What if Wolf-d'-emo-pawn tried to join your mighty crew?

 

What if Wolf-d'-emo-pawn tried to join your mighty crew?

Firsts of all, we have a rigorous screenin' process to eliminates all emos from applying to poirecy on QU33N 4NN3'5 R3V3NG3. Oi haves a strict policy aboat feedin' emos to oar shark. But less jess say Wolfy wernts an emo.

Firs' off, he'd haves teh survive teh recruitment process. To apply teh me crew, ye haves ta have at least a 500K bounty on yer head. There be certain other requirements I cants really discuss, fer erm, reasons of legality. We usually take neophytes aboat four teh seven applicants at a times. We run em through the paces an makes sure they can keep up with the rest o' me crew. We aces their fightin', raidin', swearin', seafarin', wenchin', drinkin', an other poiret toipe skils. Ten deh wurst candidates oar voted off. We poirets be a real fan o' reality competitions. O' yeah. And if yeh gets voted off, yeh walks teh plank and gets teh meet oar pet shark. Corse, oi reserves ultimate veto power in all matters.

Nex, yeh gets a poiret name. Since Wolfy he be fond o' canines maybe wees could incorporates teh word "puppy". So less say Wolf-d'-emo-pawn's given name were Nicholas we would have to change that. Cause "Puppy Nick", jess would nae do. Nao "Puppy Bartholomew", "Puppy Ahab", or "Puppy Rackshack", on the other hands, those wood be a propper loike names.

An it goes wifout sayin' he'd have teh start oat as a cabin boy. Swabin' teh poop deck, workin' in the galley's scullery, cleanin' cannon balls an' teh loike. After that, promotions be granted if Wolfy were teh kill one o' me crew or if he bribed me enough.

(Once, couple years back, me crew an' oi found teh location teh one o' teh Survivor games! We had a right noice time! We made teh contestants go through a round designed by me crew. It involved rum, of course, walking across a leech infested swamp, and ending the challenge by kissing oar pet shark. An the one that got voted off by me crew got eaten by two o' me caniballistic crew members. Oi'm usually dead set against caniballism, but this were a special toipe occoasion!)

 

What am I doing now?