I give to you my review of Beautiful Katamari. Pictures found via google - tell me if their use makes ya' mad. I remember the first time that I ever laid eyes on this strange oddity; in a magazine’s watch on Japanese games, this was one of the features, a game wherein you roll up a bunch of stuff so that you can roll up bigger stuff. A few years later, this game reached the shores of America, and I was so dumbfounded that I just had to check this thing out. What I found was one of the trippiest and enjoyable ventures into the minds of acid-addicted Japanese people, AKA: the most messed up people on the face of the planet. After three games, the series takes its first tentative steps onto the current generation of platforms with Beautiful Katamari on the Xbox 360. If the first paragraph sounded strangely optimistic and flighty, you might be perplexed as to the low score, and I’ll tell you why the score is such in one statement. The series has seen little to no innovation over the first game in THREE sequels. The game is still enjoyable, but nothing has been done with the series, so – as a fan of Katamari – I am disappointed. The game starts off in a similar fashion to the previous games; the King of All Cosmos, the single greatest and manliest of men to ever wander the stars, is enjoying a game of tennis with his wife, the Queen of All Cosmos, and, due to the immense and manly strength of the King, his serve rips the universe asunder, creating a black hole that sucks up all of existence, save for Planet Earth. Being the lazy or merciful King that he is, the ruler of space commands his subordinate, the Prince, to pick up the Katamari once more to rebuild planets. Yes, the story is basic, but all of the charm from the first and second console games has been lost or is just not present. Okay, the plot was basically phoned in as the creators smoked more and more crack, but they were charming in their oddity – especially the second, which told us the history of our King. This time around, things were REALLY phoned in – even the opening no longer has that “W T F ! ! !†feeling that the last games instilled in us. Nothing will top Katamari on the Rocks, but – come on! Music of the game remains just as strange as the first game with a good mixture of Engrish and even a bit of J-Rock thrown in, but everything is only mediocre at best. Not one track stands out amongst it all, which is really sad for these games. Again, nothing will beat Katamari on the Rocks, or even Que Sera Sera in a pinch, but the soundtrack seemed very underwhelming this time around: good, but underwhelming. Graphics are a cruel mistress now, and Beautiful Katamari is the subject of some scrutiny; while I fail to see the game in the best resolution, HD, whatever you want to call it, the graphics remain, more or less, the same as We Love Katamari or even the original Katamari Damacy. Perhaps the most noticeable effect is the increase in frame rate, but, even at that, there are frequent stutters and slow spots that, given the always brilliant and adorable art style, are really quite unacceptable. I’m fine with all of this, and prefer the cute graphics and the added detail, but that’s not enough to save this game when it has the power of the Xbox 360 behind it. Gameplay remains as it always has over all these years; you, as the Prince, roll around the Katamari, a large, sticky ball that picks up objects that are smaller than it, adding to the overall mass of the orb. Slowly, but surely, you grow from collecting dominoes to shoes, dogs to dressers, cars to buildings, monuments to entire landmasses, and, in a new leap of size, eventually the cosmos. The delicious sense of scale that makes you feel so accomplished and powerful remains in full swing, even more so now than ever before. The controls also remain simple – the Katamari is controlled with different pushed on the two control sticks. Pushing both forward results in forward movement…pushing both back results in a reverse movement. By combining different motions, you can rotate, strafe, even hop around the Katamari or charge up for a boost of speed. While the new controller starts out a bit awkward, the feelings washes away quickly and returns to the good olde PS2 days. One of the new added elements, beyond the typical time limit and size goal, is the added request of content. For each stage, even now the normal stages, the King asks you to fill up the Katamari with certain objects, such as rich, cold or food-related objects. While the amount of stuff doesn’t really matter in the end, as you pass so long as you reach the size in time, this makes it near impossible to get a “perfect†score, such as some of the previous challenges had. Getting a score above 100 is hard enough, but, as the only thing this does is complete and unlock Achievements and bragging rights, it’s a minute addition. Otherwise, everything remains more or less the same from We Love Katamari. You can move around from challenge to challenge, stopping to switch out your character, save, or equip your Katamari roller with various presents from Us (the King and Queen). Though, in this place, you will notice something very odd – there is about as much stuff to do in the 360 version of Katamari as there was in the original on the PS2. In fact, there might be LESS stages! Seriously, there is less to do on the latest, greatest version of the game than the original! Why this is, I don’t know, but I’m sure it has something to do with online multiplayer and scoreboards. The Scoreboards are a decent idea for those who want to brag, but the multiplayer of Katamari has always been horrid – especially the cooperative ventures that have each person control one SIDE of the Katamari. Even if I could connect to the Internet, I would not be surprised to find no one playing the multiplayer aspect. Correct me if I’m wrong. As mentioned, there is a multiplayer format for the game. In this, two people roll up stuff frantically while avoiding the other, larger player as, when one person is greater than the other, you can roll up your opposition as well. In the end, this becomes a frantic dash for objects and each battle is usually won by only a few key objects. Co-op is a disaster, even when both people are yelling directions frantically, as you oppose the movement of your friend. This usually ends in broken limbs. In the very end, what makes me more annoyed with this title is how limited it is. You could play this entire game out in five hours if you wanted to. Unlocking all of the Achievements will take no longer than ten hours. And, at full price, that’s a kick somewhere where a kick don’t belong. To quote Zero Punctuation: “…it’s a kick in the balls. Perhaps a pretty, well executed kick in the balls with the best of intentions, but, at the end of the day, you’re still walking funny.†All in all, the game is passable should you be a rabid fan of the series, such as I was. But, even at that, I would suggest that you wait until this falls in the bargain bin due to the overall underwhelming performance, soundtrack and gameplay. Granted, I still had fun, but, much like an awesome party night, that fun will only last for the night. The morning comes with headaches, regret, and many phone calls. We are not moved to tears by the size of Beautiful Katamari. Presentation, 7/10: It's very unique, but a lot of the charm has worn off over the years. Graphics, 6/10: The graphics are highly stylized and are full of detail, but are not really improved over previous games or any other 360 game. Sound, 7/10: Stage tracks are still very odd and very Japanese, but don't quite live up to some of the previous songs - good, but not brilliant. Otherwise, sound effects are still good, but still overlap when picking up masses of junk at once. Gameplay, 7/10: Gameplay is as addictive as ever, but the reduction of play time seriously hampers the fun. Plus, the addition of online multiplayer seems akward at best. Lasting Appeal: 5/10: After you beat the main missions and fiddle around with high scores, it will be a long time before you pick this up again. Total Score, 32/50: Beautiful Katamari is a good game, but extremely lackluster for its price. Should it have been at budget price, it would be a great deal. But, with the loss of its charm, the only subpar and occasionaly technocally insufficient graphics, the unimpressive soundtrack and little to no replayablity, the latest title in the Katamari series doesn't live up to the first or second. Decent, but a dissapointment overall. ~~~ Sorry for the wall of text; my review had to be long enough to get onto GameFAQs, and I tend to be a bit wordy. So, please tell me what you think. I'd love to hear comments or what you think about my review or the game itself. Adios. Must play more Patapon...
