Ok, I've put most of my stories on Quizilla (my other username, although i don't use it here since we're limited one account a head is xxShikiMitsukaixx, this is also my Quizilla username). But i want to make a new story as well. This is just my first draft, basically the opener for the rest of the story, i just need some feedback whether it's a good opening or not The full moon shone it's silver light; downcast onto the horrific scene below. The scream of a woman filtered through the night air, piercing the reminiscent silence. She ran up the stairs, the door before her opened ajar. She pushed the creaking door open, and froze. Her father's torn and bloodied body lay lifeless on the floor. She cried, and gasped when she heard the murmurs of her dying mother. "please..." She walked over and held her, wrapped her arms around her mother's body covered with her pure white robe, now stained crimson with blood. Her mother lifted her weak arm up to her, bidding for Her to come closer. As She leaned in, her mother whispered in her ear, "...you must survive...for your sake and our world, you...have to..." The girl shook her head while tears began to trickle from Her eyes. "I-i don't undestand...what are you trying to tell me?!" Her mother simply smiled, and slowly, she shut her eys. "...i love you, Tsukikage..." She cried and screamed. That night, she had lost both her Father and Mother. Story Information Main character: Tsukikage Eris Farron Age: 17 Appearance: *undisclosed* Lost her parents to an unknown cause of death at a young age. Makes a living out of salvaging lost items within the Laikos Ruins (ancient city formerly known for it's prowess with the use of atheria crystals that allows the bearer the use of an 'Arte'. Other abilities are unknown*) and selling them to earn gold. She continually has dreams of the night her parents were killed, but still doesn't know what her mother's dying words referred to. BG info on her parents -Mother was an 'Ethereal', a long extinct race (her mother an exception) proficient to the use of many abilities and powers especially healing artes. Ethereal's are connected to Holy power. -Father was a human who excelled at swordsmanship. Led the warriors of their hometown to protect it. *I don't know how to slot this into the main story, so ill just leave it out. Just putted it in here for some bg info on those ruins. ****Is anyone interested in making an RP? If your interested in joining in on the story, you can make your own character and such. Let me know if you need more info****
I sort of wish you would post a bit more... But why must it be a full moon...? I kinda see that a lot of places
I know, but originally it was a full moon so i stuck with it. But the idea of it has been stretched and over used *really is unfortunate for us >,<* I also thought it would be better for the scene plus a full moon gives off more and brighter light. And thanks to the positive feedback glad it came out right. I'll post more, i just wanted to hear some feedback so that way i can decide to write more or not. Of course, what ideas do you have in mind?
Let see... Is that a Horror story? (adventure? fantasy genre? ) It's a good opening for me. (good enough to make somebody cries XD )
The genre is a mix of: action, dark, fantasy adventure and possiblyyyyyy some romance. But the latter will probably not happen any time soon within the story lol Im not sure about horror, so thats why I just slotted in 'dark'. And awesome x] I was wondering whether i should have expanded the opening more, but so far it appears to be ok ^^
a Romance you say? that would be good. ;D * meganova support this idea XD Proceed with the story, your opening is good already.
Cool XD Ill work on the first short chapter and might post it up later on in the day ^^ The first chapter will be mostly introductory, for the plot, the introduction of characters etc. So it might be a bit bOrInG >,<
