One night a guy with his girlfriend comes back to his house. They creep in the front door and close it.. He leans to her ear and says, We'll have to be quiet because I live with my little brother and he is asleep.. So they creep into the bedroom and he shows her one slight inconvenience... That he and his little brother both sleep on a bunk bed and that he sleeps on the top bunk. So the guy and his girlfriend climb up onto the top bunk as quietly and as slowly as possible so they don't wake the little boy up.. After some time the girl and the lad start to become a little adventurous and things start heating up.. He leans over and whispers to her.. "Say tomato if you want to me to do it harder and lettuce if you want me to do it faster.." So after a period of time the girl starts to moan. "Lettuce... Tomato... Lettuce.... Lettuce... Tomato..! Lettuce!! Tomato!! LETTUCE LETTUCE!! TOMATOO!! LETTUCE TOMATO!!!" The little boy shouts up to the top bunk. "Will you two stop making sandwiches up there!? You're getting mayonnaise all over my face!"
This is a joke section afterall, I just thought I would aim to amuse some of the users of the community. Whether you like the joke or have any nasty comments is up to you. Saying this is a bad joke does not affect my mental integrity. I'm glad somee of you find this joke amusing, even if it is slightly crude.
Ironically I have another Joke about Sandwiches.. Three men at a work site at lunch time, First there's the English man, he opens up his lunch box picks up his sandwich which contains cheese.. "Errughh... I hate cheese.. If my wife makes me cheese sandwiches one more time, I will climb up to the top of the scaffolding and jump off to commit suicide." Next up is the Scottish man. He opens up his sandwiches and he finds that he was ham sandwiches.. "Yuck, I hate ham . I too will jump off the scaffolding if my wife makes me ham sandwiches." Last but not least the Irish man looks into his sandwiches, which contain nothing but mayonnaise. "I don't like mayonnaise, and that's the only thing in this sandwich... If too will kill myself if I find my sandwiches have mayonnaise in." *The next day* The lunch call goes out and the three husbands sit down to eat their lunch. First up as usual is the English man, he opens his lunchbox and finds that he has cheese sandwiches.. He shakse his head solemnly and climbs up to the top of the scaffolding... He then takes a blind leap off and dies instantly as he hits the floor. The scottish man looks taken aback and opens his lunch box. Which to his downfall cotained Ham... To keep his word, like the English man, he climbs up the scaffolding and leaps off and commits suicide. Lastly the irish man opens his sandwich to find that they have nothing but mayonnaise in.. Not thinking twice he also climbs up the scaffolding and commits suicide by jumping off from the top. At the funeral the three mens wifes were there... The English wife man's said. "If only my Husband *sob* had said that he didn't like cheese, *sob* I would have just put in something different." The Scottish wife man's said. "If you mine had said that he didn't like ham! I would have given him something else!" *sob* The Irish man's wife said. "If only he let me make his sandwiches for him!" Rather long I admit, but the punchline is worth it... Unfortunately I can think of no shorter version..
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah ah ahaha ha ha ha ha while la ughing i canat writtte properly man sooooo funny
And to think that I'm spending my time telling jokes rather than doing my ucas application form I shall be partaking more time into telling some more jokes, but first I have to finish my form.
George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are enjoying a lunch at a fancy Washington restaurant. Their waitress approaches their table to take their order, she is young and very attractive. She asks Cheney what he wants, and he replies, "I'll have the heart-healthy salad." "Very good, sir," she replies, and turning to Bush she asks, "And what do you want, Mr. President?" Bush answers, "How about a quickie?" Taken aback, the waitress slaps him and says, "I'm shocked and disappointed in you. I thought you were bringing in a new administration that was committed to high principles and morality. "I'm sorry I voted for you." With that, the waitress departed in a huff. Cheney leans over to Bush, and says, "Mr President, I believe that's pronounced quiche".
oh man i dont know where you get it but i am a joker (Pronounced joke_err)my self a president was newly elected so his prime minister came to him and gave him a contract which he singed without reading it on asking why he didnt read the contract he told his prime minister I WAS ELECTED TO LEAD NOT TO READ
(all jokes should go to the "joke' topic as these single joke threads become spam thread clones-and I hate clones so much I'd clone myself and kill them myself...plus ma clones)
Originally this post was dictated by myself to be just for sandwich jokes or food related jokes, if there seems to be a problem with that then a moderator or admin will use the untold power at his fingers tips to move my thread until then. I will not dig to australia with my wooden spoon, so far I've managed to get 12 feet in three years... I have no idea how old Andy made it out of prison in 20 years. If you want this thread locked or possibly moved then by my guest, Sire. I'd also like to tell you that you can't kill a thread, only by concurring with a drug addict and borrowing some drugs which cause halucinations, may you be able to delve into your desires with your knife and fork at hand.. Why would you need those you ask? it's simple.. Why not eat after you've killed something.. Also, printers were involved for a reason. When some people see Lindsy Loohan, the say "Wow, I'd eat that for breakfast lunch AND dinner!" You'll find a multitude of printed pictures of her in his stomach. I rest my case. *peace signal*
