lol. Spoiler “Rob! Be more careful next time!†Rob’s dad was yelling at him for dropping the dog food. “Gawd I hate that stupid dog.†Rob went over to get another can of dog food while mumbling a few nasty words. “Don’t forget to walk the dog too!†Rob hastily grabbed the lease from the small hook on the wall and wrapped it around his dog’s neck. “Com’on Spots!†He dragged the dog out the door and started walking. Rob really wanted the dog to be gone. For some odd reason, he was the one in charge of taking care of the dog that his parents had picked out and named. Spots always barked during the night. Sometimes he would run up stairs and scratch on Rob’s door. Rob would then need to get out of bed, pick the dog up, and then throw him back out the window. Rob never got any sleep. Rob had to wake up extra early each morning in order to walk the dog. He usually only had 7 hours of sleep each day. One morning, he was in an extraordinarily bad mood. The dog lost his tail during the night and would not shut up. No matter what Rob did, he could not make the dog any quieter. So when he woke up after the short nights rest, he had to feed the dog and then find his tail. He was late for school and he missed the important notes that he had to take so he could study for the test on the very next day. “I’m done with this dog. He needs to go.†Rob had suffered with this dog for 3 years. He couldn’t take it any more. Rob woke up the next morning with a huge grin on his face. This morning, instead of feeding him a can of dog food, he immediately put a leash on Spots and walked out the door. Rob had a plan. He found the perfect way to kill his dog. Rob was laughing maniacally as he strolled down the sidewalk with Spots. He planned to have the dog get “accidentally†run over by a car. Every once in awhile, Rob would flick a treat into the middle of the road when a car passed by and try to get Spots to chase after it. This wasn’t as easy as Rob thought it would be. Spots had a neglected broken leg that slowed him down a bit so he had to throw the dog treats out ahead of time. Rob couldn’t handle it anymore. As hard as he tried, his dog just wouldn’t be accidentally run over by a car. He had to get on the bus within the next ten minutes so he decided to walk back home. As he was strolling back, he thought of an excellent plan. Why not have the bus run over his dog? He knew that the second graders would love it. So without stopping to go back home, he decided to go straight to his bus stop. He had no homework so he didn’t need to retrieve anything. Rob hurried to his bus stop so he could prepare for the final moment. There were five people already waiting at the bus stop. One kid asked, “What the heck happened to his tail?†Rob replied by saying, “He didn’t need it anymore. People started to inch away from him. Rob dropped a handful of dog treats in front of the bus stop as he heard the bus approaching. He jumped up for joy when Spots started to walk over to the pile of treats. Many people stared at the dog in shock while others stared at rob with disgust. “Crap. Too many witnesses.†Rob said to himself. He threw a few human treats right next to the pile of dog treats but that didn’t work. The bus was seconds away from hitting the dog. Rob started to think, “How has the driver not noticed the dog yet?†Rob stood there, frozen, with a pale face. The bus screeched to a stop and with a loud squeal, Spots died. Rob raised his hand up signaling for a high-five but everyone avoided him. Rob lowered his hand and then walked onto the bus. Everybody else stayed outside and surrounded the dead dog. The bus driver yelled, “What’s going on?†He got off his seat and then walked out side. “Oh my lord! Why was this dog in the middle of the street?†Everyone pointed at Rob. When they arrived at school, Rob was called to the office. When Rob arrived at the office, he saw his two parents waiting for him. “Did you kill that dog on purpose? What is wrong with you?†Rob began to cry. “I HATED that stupid dog. Why was I the only one who had to take care of him?†His parents stumbled for a second. “Because we dislike you†Later that day, Rob was in his room getting lectured by his parents. “Young man, we spent thousands of dollars on food and hospital visits for that dog, why would you want him to die?†Rob replied, “Because I didn’t want him. He was always waking me up and I was the only one who fed him and walked him.†His parents didn’t reply, instead, they punished him. He was grounded for two weeks. Rob wouldn’t stop screaming. He banged on his door and shouted at the top of his lungs. He stomped his feet and threw things around until his parents rushed into his room. “Stop making so much noise or we’ll extend your punishment.†Rob didn’t listen. He continued to scream. They decided that enough was enough. They picked Rob up and threw him out the window. Rob was unconscious so they brought him back into the house and rested him on his bed. The next day, they thought of the perfect plan. They took the leash off of the small hook and walked up to Rob’s room. They wrapped the leash around his neck and then dragged him downstairs. This time, his parents were waiting for the bus. They received a ton of high-fives that morning.
Oh, I had this one earlier this year... It was fricken hillarious, can't remember where I saved it.. It involved some guy and his wonderful ass hat (literally) or something.
Here is a stupid story. One day someone told me someone was taking over all of romU, so I came along and did was I do best.
Spoiler A girl and her boyfriend are going on a trip. They got in the car and started going to their destination. The girl said "How about a little game? The boy glanced at her and replied, "Oh? What did you have in mind? She said, "How about I take off some of my clothes the faster you drive? He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car. He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her blouse. At 60 off came the pants. At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her panties. Now seeing her naked for the first time and traveling faster than he ever had before, he became very excited and lost control of the car. He sveered off the road, went over an embankment and hit a tree. His girlfriend was not hurt but he was trapped. She tried to pull him free but he was stuck. "Go to the road and get help," he said. "I don't have anything to cover myself with!" she replied. The man felt around, but could only reach one of his shoes. "You'll have to put this between your legs to cover it up," he told her. So she did as he said and went up to the road for help. Along came a truck driver. Seeing a naked, crying woman along the road, he pulled over to hear her story. "My boyfriend! My boyfriend!" she sobs, "He's stuck and I can't pull him out!" The truck driver looking down at the shoe between her legs replies: "Ma'am, if he's in that far, I'm afraid he's a goner!" hehe. i thought this one was funny.
It's pretty long! This was the first chapter of sumthin' I wrote a LONG time ago...I think it was at school; I can't remember. My classmates thought it was kinda funny, so I kept it on my computer...Yeah...weird...It was the best thing I ever wrote...at least funny wise. Anyways, you might noticed some grammar mistakes...and...stuff...in that nature. It's a story about Bowser and his minions! Spoiler Location: Bowser’s Castle, 12:55 PM (Insert Bowser’s Castle Theme) A ParaTroopa with a red shell, wearing goggles, holding onto a mailbag, slowly landed in front of Bowser’s Castle. “Yo, Mail call!†The ParaTroopa said, pulling out a couple of letter, while banging on the huge iron door. A Koopatrol slowly slid back the opening in the door. “Who goes there?†said the Koopatrol. He then looked down and saw the ParaTroopa staring, stupidity, up at him. “A ParaTroopa? This part of the kingdom isn’t your , state your business for being here?†The ParaTroopa smirked, while, cockily, fixing his goggles. “Ace’s the name, delivering mail’s the game!†He then gave The Koopatrol a very familiar thumbs up. But Koopatrol just stared, silently at him. “…Ace, huh? Hm. We weren’t expecting any mail, until much later. How do I know this isn’t a trick?†asked the paranoid Koopatrol. Ace was appalled. “A Trick?! Dude, you seriously need to take a chill pill! I’m just a humble MailKoopa, trying to make a well earn living for his family.†he then gave the Koopatrol an innocent look. “I swear it, dude. I have no reason to be lying to you.†The Koopatrol just stared at Ace through the peephole inside the door. “Hm. I need to see some proof of identification…But how…Hm.†he then rubbed his chin. “Oh, I know. Show me the letter that was sent to Lord Bowser.†“Dude?! Why do you need to see proof, my little Bros. work for Lord Bowser, they could get me the nod through, just ask them about me.†sighed Ace, getting annoyed by the stubborn Koopatrol. “No. Either you show me the proof that you’re truly are a MailKoopa or I will have no choice, but to make you depart from the area by force.†The Koopatrol said, sternly and full of authority Ace then sighed. “Uh…You’re stubborn, huh, Dude? I can tell.†Koopatrol just clear his throat, annoyingly. “Well…Anyways, here…Ya big baby.†Ace then pulled out a huge pink letter, and waived it in front of him. The letter was covered with glitter and it seemed like it was sprayed with a hint of lavender. “It looks like King B has an admirer.†he snickered, mockingly. “About time, if I say so.†The Koopatrol then opened the huge door and exited the castle. “Well, nobody asked you, you dolt!†he scoffed, snatching the letter from Ace. “Hm. Now let’s see.†The Koopatrol looked down and stared at the letter, it had the letter ‘P’ bold, embroidering in front, it also said it was from Princess Peach. “UHH! It’s from, your highness!?†he then looked at Ace, and snapped. “You…Idiot! Why didn’t you tell it was from Princess Peach?!†“Ummm…Well, Maybe, because, you didn’t ask?†Ace muttered, while shrugging his shoulders, nonchalantly. “ERR! Get in here, you moron! We have to deliver this letter to Lord Bowser, immediately! †The Koopatrol snorted, while walking over to Ace. “Whatta mean, by WE?! Dude, I did my job, I’m outta here!†Ace then went to fly off, but The Koopatrol grabbed him from behind. “Hey, dude! Let go of me, you nut job! I have my rights! I HAVE MY RIGHTS!†Ace shouted, while, frantically, squirming around, as The Koopatrol, effortlessly, forced him inside. “Dude, I won’t let this go unnoticed. I‘ll sue your ass!†“Shut up, you moron!†sighed the Koopatrol, while walking through Bowser‘s seemingly endless hallway. “You probably don’t even know your own rights.†The Koopatrol walked, while Ace, slowly tottered, as they walked through the main hallway, they noticed that a lot of the castle seemed to be remodeled into a racing course. “Dude, what’s going on in here? Where’s all of King B’s stuff?†asked a puzzled Ace. “What? Do I look Psychic to you? I don’t know what‘s going on, either.†sighed The Koopatrol. “Lord Bowser like keeping stuff like this secretive; when it comes to minions, like us.†“Dude, I ain’t no minion.†Ace murmured. “I’m too awesome to be called someone’s lowly stool…†“What‘re you blabbering about, you’re delivering mail.†The Koopatrol snickered. “You must be crazy, if you think that’s a less degrading than being Bowser’s minion. “Whatever, dude…†Ace said from the side of his mouth. The Koopatrol just stared at Ace. “You know what? You remind of a Koopa…Who I HATE with extremely prejudice.†Ace just shrugged, like he didn‘t know what the heck The Koopatrol was talking about. Location: Bowser’s Castle Royal Chambers, 1:39 PM Bowser was sitting his huge throne chair, admiring his many pictures of Peach. “Graa…Peach. I wonder if you’re thinking about me.†he said, looking at his favorite one, which was a picture of Peach, in the dress she wore, when she was vacating on Delfino Isle. (I like that one the best. Wonder why they never use it) “Peach…I wish…I wish…†he then held the picture closely, and started looking around to make sure nobody was around. Bowser then started making the poster talk. “Oh, Bowser, you know I’m always thinking about, too!†he said, in a feminine, yet creepy voice. “If it wasn’t for those DAMN Mario Bros. we would already be together, and it would be everlasting! Bowser don‘t you see, it‘s YOU I love…not Mario.†Bowser’s eyes then started to get all teary-eyed. “Oh, Princess! Do you really mean that?!†he then made the poster nod. “Oh, PEACH!†Bowser was just about to make the poster speak again, but he quickly covered the its mouth. “Shssh…Don’t say nothing. You’ll ruin the moment.†he then started inching closer to the poster. “I wanna make love to you, baby!†Bowser then started kissing the poster, passionately. Suddenly, The Koopatrol and Ace came barging into Bowser’s huge throne room. “Sir, Koopatrol, Lieutenant, reporting in, SIR!†The Koopatrol said, nervously, while saluting to Bowser, until he finally noticed what he was doing. “Uhh…S-Sir?…†“Aaaah…Princess! Yeah, you always know the right places where to…†Bowser then lifted his head and saw the Koopatrol and Ace staring at him. “T-Tou…Uhh…Umm…†“Dude! Yikes!†Ace said, snickering, while slightly turning his head. “Awwwkkkkarrrddd…†The Koopatrol just closed his eyes, while clearing his throat. Bowser was sweating hard, as he stared at both Koopas, he then quickly yelled. “Graaaaah! What do you two NIMRODS want?!†he said, quickly regaining authority of the room. “Don‘t YOU see I‘m enjoying my ME time?!†Bowser roared, threateningly. The Koopatrol quickly saluted. “Uh, y-yeah…Yes, of course, Sir! Please forgive my intruding, sir!†he said, extremely nerves. He then pulled out the very strange letter from Peach. “Uh, Lord Bowser, King, Sir! I come to you with a message…Of, great importance.†“Of great importance, huh?†Bowser said, nonchalant, while sitting back in his chair, yawning, annoyingly. “So, you cretin…what are you WAITING for? Tell me, what it is!†the whole room shook the sound of Bowser’s voice. Ace quickly ducked behind The Koopatrol. “Uhh, Y-Yes, of course, My lord…W-Well.†he stuttered, looking at Ace cower in fear, behind him. “…I-It’s a letter from the Princess off the Mushroom Kingdom, Peach.†he nervously said, bowing, while slowly walking up to Bowser. Bowser was shocked and flabbergasted, all at the same time “WHAT?! A letter, from my beloved Peachykins?!†Bowser then snatched the letter from the Koopatrol and then lifted him up by his neck. “GRAHAHA! Thanks for the info, WORM!†he then lifted him high up, and tossed the Koopatrol outta the room. “Son of a bitch…†Ace murmured, watching as the poor Koopatrol went spiraling right through many walls of the castle. Ace then turned back toward Bowser, who was laughing hysterically. “Uh…Lord Bowser, sir, if you don’t mind…I’ll be leaving now. My job was just only to deliver that letter safely to you.†he said, nervously, while walking toward the door. Ace was almost to the exit, when Bowser leapt in front of him, smirking, while waving the letter, tauntingly in his face. “What’s the rush, minion?†he said, putting his arm around Ace. “Don’t you want to see what inside this baby? I mean, just look how its decorated…I bet this letter is Peach, getting ready to confess her undying love to me. Gwarhahahah! I so FREAKING awesome.†Bowser then started sniffing the letter. “GRAHHH!†he moaned. “…Lavender…My favorite…†Ace just stared, annoyed, at Bowser, as he continued to ramble on about himself. “Uh…Sir, I don’t mean to be rude, but when are you gonna…I don’t know…actually open the letter to see what’s really inside it?†he sighed, while staring, annoyingly, at Bowser. But instead of getting angry, Bowser just laughed, heartily. “Grahahahah! Yes. Yes. Yes. I know. You‘re just as anxious as I am, aren‘t cha?†“Yeaaah…†Ace sighed, annoyingly, while looking at the watch on his arm. “Sure. Let’s go with that.†Bowser sniffed the letter once more and then finally opened it up. “Hm…†Bowser moaned, as he started reading the letter. Dear: Bowser Yes, it’s me, Peach. And, no, Bowser, this is not a love letter, confessing my undying love for you, so you can stop drooling over the letter now, lover boy. Eheheh. Anywho, you’re probably wondering why I’m sending you this letter, right? Well, by now, you should well know, that every once in awhile, we hold our annual Mario Kart Grand Prix, and every year I always choose a person to sponsors the races. This year, I chose you, Bowser. Eheheh. You get to make up this year’s rule…and even chose the courses we’ll drive in, but try not to make the courses impossible to beat, okay? That’s all I ask from you. With Love, From: Peach “GRAAAAHHH!†Bowser roared, while slamming the letter on the ground. “DAMMIT ALL!†Ace walked over to Bowser. “What’s up, your dudeness!? You look positively awful…†Ace said, walking around Bowser, while looking over his shoulders. “It’s that letter!†Bowser said, sitting down in his chair, folding his arms. “I thought it Peach, confessing her undying love for me, but instead it’s just her telling me, that it was my turn to sponsor some STUPID Mario Kart thingy…I don’t give a FUCK about!†he grumbled. “I mean, if it wasn’t a love letter, why did she decorated it and sprayed all that fancy stuff on it?†Ace then walked over to the letter, and started reading it. “…Know wonder.†he then lifted his head. “Your Lovey-Doveyness, Dude! You didn’t finish reading the letter, man.†Ace said, while tossing the letter over to Bowser, like a shuriken. “Grahuh? Seriously?†Bowser said, while catching the spiraling letter. “OWWWW! You little bastard! You gave me a paper cut!†he whimpered, while blowing his finger. “Dude, stop being a baby, and read the rest…†Ace sighed. “Graaaaaah! I should keelhaul you for this insubordination.†Bowser said, while jacking up Ace. “…But anyway…†he then started back reading the letter. After quickly skimming through the part he previously read, Bowser finally spotted the, PS, Peach jotted down. “Grah? How did I missed that?†PS: Oh, if you’re wondering why the letter is decorated so thoroughly, well, that’s because my Toads thought the letter was for Mario, and not for you. I tried removing it, but it wouldn’t come off, so…Sorry for the confusing, Bowser. “Dude…That’s what the PS was about?†Ace said, gasping, loudly. “It was about apologizing for making the letter look decorative?†he then snapped his fingers. “And the worst part was that the only reason it was decorated in the first place, because the Toads thought it was for Mario.†he then turned to Bowser and shook his head. “…Son…Of…A…Bitch…†Bowser paused and just sat there staring, obnoxiously, at the ParaTroopa, he then lunged at Ace, and grabbed him by his throat. “Shut up, you little troll!†he said, while strangling the ParaTroopa. “…But, still, this privilege of me giving out this years rules, gives me a positively evil idea of me getting Peach…and finally ridding myself of MARIO! Gwarhahaha!†“Uh…DUDE! Th-That’s all nice and dandy, but could you let go of me…PLEASE!?!†Ace said, gasping for air. Bowser then released Ace, and he fell face first into the ground. “Koopa Bros! I summon you! Get in here, you idiots!†Bowser yelled, through a megaphone, that came, slowly, descending from the ceiling. Suddenly, three blur came dropping from the roof. First was a red one, then a black one, and then finally a yellow. “You rang, dude?†Red said, with the cockiest smirk on his face. Red then heard a voice that he dread the most. “Well. Well. Well…If it isn’t my little bros. It looks like you guys are still doing dirty work for a living.†The voice sent shivers down Red’s spine. “When are you all gonna straighten up and go legit.†“UHHH…Dude, it couldn’t be…†Red then turned, and saw his elder brother, Ace, he was standing behind him, smirking. “You?! Ah, anybody, but you! Why do you have to be here?!†grumbled Red, throwing a temper tantrum, like a little baby. “Daaaaaamn, Ace!†Black said, as he ran over to Ace. “Belly flop!†Ace and Black then belly flopped into each other. “YEAAAAHHHH, DUDDDEEEE!!!!†Yellow squealed, while jumping around Ace. “Didja bring me back a gift, Ace?†“Nope, little dude. Not this time.†Ace said, patting Yellow on his back. You could see Red in the background grinding his teeth. “Everybody, shut the hell UPPPPPP!†Bowser yelled, getting everybody attention. “Now, listen up, Red, I’ve got a new mission for you four, you see I need you…†But, Bowser cut himself off as he stared at the three Koopa Bros. that stood before him. “Wait, I thought there were four you clowns, where’s the smartass, green one, that’s always plotting against you, Red?†Red just shrugged, while casually leaning up to Bowser’s huge chair. “Who, Green? Shot, I don’t know. Last time I saw him, he was talking about when he win this years race, he was gonna bring the full rapture upon us or something like that.†he then dug in his nose and said. “I guess he’s gonna be a gangsta rapper or something, I told him his CD was gonna flop.†“What the hell are you talking about, Red? What you just said, didn’t make an ounce of sense…†Ace said, staring, annoyingly, at his brother†“Shut up, talking to me, dude!†Red fired back. “You’re always trying to 1up me…You don‘t know what you‘re talking about, either!†Suddenly, Green came walking inside the room, he was wearing a long green scarf around his neck, he was also wearing a racing helmet, and some goggles. “Hey, everyone.†Green then noticed how everybody was looking at him. “Uh…What?†Ace then walked over to Green. “What’s up, little bro. Tell that nimrod, Red, that you‘re entering the Mario Kart Grand Prix.†he said, placing his arm over Green’s shoulder. Green just stared at Ace. “Little bro? Uhh…W-Who are you?†asked a puzzled Green. “Nah, Green. Tell him how you’re gonna be a gangsta rapper, who sucks!†Red said, pulling Green away from Ace. Bowser watched, as Ace and Red tugged Green back and forth. “Hey…CUT IT OUT!!!!†Red and Ace quickly let go of Green. He then looked at Ace, and snarled. “Why the hell are YOU still here?†he then fired a fireball at Ace. “You’re excused! Get the hell outta my chambers!†“DUUDDEE!!!!†Ace yelped, as he fluttered up in the air, dodging the fireball. “Okay, okay, dude! Sheez…You don’t have to barbecue me.†he then looked over to Red and the others. “See ya later, dudes…Even you, Red!†“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Don’t let the backdoor hit you on the way out…†Red said, mockingly. “Okay, now getting back to the main topic.†Bowser said, getting the Koopa Bros’ attention. “As you already may know, the Marifool Kart is coming up, and this year, my beloved, and future baby mama, Peach, has granted me the privilege of calling this years race. Grahahahaha!†he then walked over to a cabinet, and brought out a file with the letter X written in front. “I’ve been saving this plan, just for this kinda occasion. It’s called Operation X! This scheme is foolproof!†“Wait, dude! You have a file for every scheme you do?†Red said, looking inside Bowser’s file cabinet. “Dude, why would you catalog your failures?†Bowser then jacked Red up. “Who told you to go inside my file cabinet?†he said, jerking the Koopa. Green slowly lifted himself up, while dusting himself. “What? You’re sponsoring this years Mario Kart?!†he then slapped his forehead and muttered. “…I’m so screwed…†Bowser looked at Green. “What? You’re entering this years race, smartass Koopa?†“Uh, well, yes, Lord Bowser.†Green said, fixing his helmet, while smirking. “And this year…I’m planning on winning the whole Gran Prix and getting that trophy and the cash…†he then looked up at Bowser. “So, please, my Lord. Could you excuse me from your convoluted scheme, this time?†Bowser just looked at Green, from up to down. “NOOOOOOO!!!!!†he roared, blowing the little green shell Koopa backwards. “Be there, or be squared!†And with that said and done, Bowser then started telling the Koopa Bros. his plan of ridding himself of Mario. Yes, this was copy and pasted. LOL
U had to do one for an assignment?!?! Weird Hell, I just did mine for kicks (hint the curse words used in the fic) Plus, I was pretty much writing the first thing that came to mind. That why the Koopa Bros. are in it. I think this has at least 3000+ words; I never EVER wrote that much before! It took me...at least...3 dayz to write this story. Anyways, I'll check out your story ^^ I'm sure that it will prove to be amusing. (Not the bad kind, either)
