We were outnumbered 10 to 3.I looked around the woods then back at the werewolfs. "Hey Lucia we are outnumbered" Derek stated the obvious "I know that Dere" I snapped.How could I lead them into this I was there leader.Why pick me? I faced Kristina. "Any ideas on how to escape?" I asked "no not really,your the vampire with the plan that's why your our leader" Krissy replied. Three vampires against ten werewolfs we won't make it.Then I looked at the sky...the sun was coming up,they will be humens soon. "Run" I shouted. Looks like we got away safe...this time. I like writting stories and want to see what you think of this one.I hope it's ok to put on the forum.If it's not allowed feel free to delete it.
Try to expand upon this. It seems to be based of some already established work, but with some time it might be good. Begining, middle, end. This looks like something that is in the middle.
On off hobby, a few songs that have since lost meaning and a few poems. There is a topic in the sports and hobbies section. You'd see some of my better poems there.
Is this supposed to be one of those stories where you set the ending or climax in the beggining then add a sentence to go into flashback? If yes, then where's the rest?
Never have I read a more thrilling hundred words. The concise description of the current situation effectively conveys how on-edge the narrator is. The divide, both figurative and literal, between the vampires and werewolves acts as a stunningly deep allegory for the racial discrimination that is still prevalent in modern society, yet there is now a controversial reversal of roles; vampires, which are typically presented as pale-skinned creatures, are the ones being lynched in this tale, which draws a stark contrast with the historical reality of African Americans being lynched by the white-clad Ku Klux Klan. Furthermore, the story questions the stereotypical depiction of vampires as amoral and unfeeling with the narrator’s obvious guilt at what is perceived as a failed responsibility, and the significance of kinship is subtly reinforced. Finally, the symbolism of the sun as hope for vampires reveals a final twist of dramatic irony which defies conventions, as the sun usually harms vampires rather than helps them. All in all, this story has been an exhilarating yet thought-provoking insight into the nature of interracial relations in first world society. Through the use of dramatic irony and reversed roles in relation to thematic concerns of race and kinship, the author has questioned the human perceptions of division and unity. kimvamp, I must congratulate you on this stunning piece of literature. I highly recommend seeking publication of this work; it'll doubtless come to be seen as a literary classic, fit for discussion in university philosophy classes worldwide.
At least she got one thing right... TR-DR for yours XD Still according to her she could put more but...this is just a sampler. Appranantly.
Do you really think it could make it as a book.I'm working on the story and will put more on...Hypnos you are right it's just a sample.
Worth a shot, but it needs to be long, otherwise it'll end up as a teen non fiction book. Which are short, cheap and not worth critical acclaim-but intertesting to read. Expand upon this, think of a general story line, then write begining-middle-end. And edit and change it, then try making a prototype book and see if it's got enough to be a book. If it's not enough-but it's a good story-post it up on devaint art and see who might like it-no point scrapping it-plus they could give proper advice seeing as it's a free user art site-in which I post my model kits on it XD
Lol I'm writing my first book too and I'm 13. It's actually great so far! Provide an outline for yourself EG (a book about a fuzzy cat finding a new owner say,) you would write cat abandoned, put in pound, owner takes, happily ever after. brief, simple and an outline to keep you in line hope it helps lol. also your short story is pretty cool. could turn out somewhere cool
