Random, funny sayings

Anyone got some retarded sayings, like "I see", said the blind man to his deaf horse.

 

"This is as strange as two bald men fighting for a comb" is one of them;

 

I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met

 

Is this just another joke thread?

I saw a young amputee today.
He was going to the second hand shop.

 

Politicians are like broken airconditioners - they make a lot of noise but don't actually do anything.