Premarital sex or marriage first?

ive been thinking about this for sometime..premaretal sex must be first experienced before going to married life? for what purposes? and many say marriage must come first .. reason? cause thats what they say is right.. but what does the majority think.. now il ask you.. which one would you chose.. premarital or marriage first.. and by the way... id like to be the moderator for this topic.. ok? tell your opinions about this.

 

Re: PREMARETAL SEX OR MARRIAGE FIRST?

Well it's a bit late for me because i'm not married and i've had sex, but think about it, marriage isn't really the issue it's certain religions that says sex should be for married couples, it's quite old fashioned and most people have pre-marriatal sex...
But you should still use 'protection' when having sex unless you want a child, because there are lots of STI's around and you don't want accidently get somebody pregnant...

 

Re: PREMARETAL SEX OR MARRIAGE FIRST?

I am not married (yet) and had no actual sexual experience (yet) but here are some of my thoughts on the subject;

It is today general mindset that one should try-before-you-buy, that is have sexual intercourse before marriage. It's like demo version of marriage and if you like it you go full. Also that is the excuse for having sex with many partners without any expected responsibility.

In the not-so-distant past, premarital sexual intercourse was considered shame and there were many reasons of different nature why it was socially unacceptable.


Back in the present:

Major reason why premarital sexual intercourse became usual and socially normal thing is sexual revolution of which you surely had heard about somewhere before.
Additionally, majority of persons have shallow personalities and have really not much to offer except their body.

Most of such persons never get married or if they do they divorce sooner or later (we all have read a lot about high rates of divorces worldwide), remarry multiple times or if they stay in that marriage their marriage sucks.

Most religious people decide to live clean premarital relationship, that is without premarital sexual intercourse. Mostly they make that decision not because of religion itself but because they want to know each other deeply as a person first. Statistics show that among such couples is the highest number of marriages in which partners deeply love and respect each other to the very end of their life.

 

Re: PREMARETAL SEX OR MARRIAGE FIRST?

I am for premarital intercourse.
Now, if you want to wait that is fine, but it should not be looked down upon if you choose not to wait until marriage.
You should however, be committed to the person that you wish to have sex with. It can lead to unstable relationships and not truly knowing the other person in the relationship if you allow the physical aspect take over.
And as always, BE SAFE AND SMART, nothing is perfect so always be prepared for the consequences.

 

Re: PREMARETAL SEX OR MARRIAGE FIRST?

I say abolish marriage altogether, it's just some fancy ritual with an accompanying piece of paper saying, "This couple will be living together now & will be getting jiggy with it whenever thay want to & you have no say against it what so ever"

I rather we didn't have marriage & hook up with anyone we want, just like our fellow Earth beings.

 

Re: PREMARETAL SEX OR MARRIAGE FIRST?

woo hoo something i have the t-shirt for ;D well i little bit more then that.

i lost my virginity at 15 i had i girl friend for 3 years, she actually couldn't get pregnant and sex life was amazing i thought it would last forever but she went to uni and we parted ways but i then got a new girlfriend shortly after (my current one) and put it this way i started going out with her October 31st 2004 and we found out she was pregnant on December 31st and a week later got told she was 8 weeks gone, yep i got her well and truly up the duff within a week of going out with her.

lets work out the math 15 + 3 =18, yep i was 18. i am still with my girlfriend and i lover her dearly even if she does drive me crazy. i'm now 22 we have been together4 years and we have a 3 year old.

my son has changed my life for the better but it was and is incredibly hard being so young especially that he was born with gastroschisis (his guts on the outside) which meant he was in hospital for 6 months and almost died which was a crazy thing to go through when your 18 and you hardly even know your girlfriend.

i have missed out on so many opportunities like i'd love to go and teach in another country for a year but i can't cause when i got my girlfriend pregnant i said that i'd never leave her as long as it worked luckily i love her to bits but i didn't run away from my responsibility which no true man should do (i hate little punks that get people pregnant and then do a runner like a pussy)

marriage is bullshit, I'd like to get married as a sign of my ever lasting love but its tarnished by people doing it fast and then getting divorces cause they can't work stuff out. relationships are not ever easy and they should be worked at, and not pissed away and because so many people throw it away it means nothing. a morgage is more of a commitment then marriage these days.

and to do with the whole waiting that's bullshit religious nonsense, ok don't go fucking around but if you love someone explore your sexuality and its only your modern day pansy ass religions that say no to sex there are allot more religions from way before christianity that believe in exploring your sexuality.

i say go for it stay safe and if its time and it feels right do it.

 

Re: PREMARETAL SEX OR MARRIAGE FIRST?

Premarital sex, only IF you know WHAT you're doing and you take the necessary precautions, both physically and emotionally. If not, I'd wait until marriage. I have had sex, and I'm 16 at the moment. I don't regret it.

 

Re: PREMARETAL SEX OR MARRIAGE FIRST?

in my opinion, marital. having sex before marriage will leave a bad taste in community, because there are a lot of people who like to assume the 'why' of marriage itself

 

marriage is the stupidest thing that human ever invented

But back in the old days marriage is a simple ritual need to be perform to own a wife, yes own and back in the old days the only goal a woman have is to find a good\rich husband and give birth to his child and the goal of a man is to have a son (yes son, not daughter) so his blood line doesnt die off. Back then divorce is the worst punishment to be given to a wife and when a wife get divorce, she most likely be lable as failure in being a woman.

but now days marriage is nothing more then letting other people know that we are moving in and a license to have kids.

 

marriage first ???not nowdays ,although iwould love to do the big white dress thing ,premarital sex ,i think only a few are not doing these days lol,been with my partner 14 years and 4 kids with him but still not wed but been together alot longer then some married couples,hugs for the kidsxxx

 

well lets blame Henry the 8th for divorce as it was not allowed but he made it to what it is today, if you find better change, which is stupid and that why people meet and after a few months get married then divorce after a year .

 

As bias as I am about this sort of topic I'll say it.

I've had premarital sex, no secret there, I have gotten pregnant at 15 (one of the worst moments of my life) and went though it and had a miscarriage (Worst experience of my life) I was about 16. I was chastised through all of high school because of it, there were only 3 people that did not and still loved me, my now husband, my friend who recently died and the last one who killed herself.

Oops, shit.

Well I do regret doing THAT obviously (went through the protection during intercourse, birth control + condom. I turn out to be extremely potent). But I do not regret how the pregnancy matured me and characterized me within a matter of 7 months. It transformed me into a woman, and showed who my TRUE friends were, the rest were stuck up bitches. Luckily the teachers and my parents were nice enough not to murderize me.

Although going through all that, I support premarital intercourse, given that you know the consequences of your actions and are prepared to prevent or prepared to face them as tough as it is. And that your partner is also ready and that you aren't whoring yourself (I don't support one night stands whatsoever). Although I'm a woman who believes in relationships and long lasting ones and all that jazz.

While for marriage, being raised in a small Christian community, not a lot of people divorced. I believe in marriage, even though I'm agnostic, I believe in marriage. I see marriage as a stronger bond for the rest of your life, if you choose not to follow it, fine, but unless it's for an extreme reason like cheating or something like that, I resent you. Because their excuse seems to be that they didn't mix well or whatever, well what the hell, then try to make each other fix into each other, make decisions, and then do the most important thing: COMPROMISE. While to some people marriage seems unneeded but to me it seems to be a way to express our love for each other and keep it that way for until we live.

Example, grand parents, I'm sure a majority of our grand parents are still together or widowed. It's so sad to see my grand ma, because her best friend died, she's always so sad. And they stuck through it, moved from Quebec to here and stuff they had 8 children and now that her husband died, she doesn't know what to do anymore. Well as sad as it is I want to be that way when I'm old. I want to be remembered as a wife who loved her husband to death and loved her kids and family and friends.

Although I stuck it out through thick and thin with my husband for 6 years and man, we had some tough times especially through my miscarriage but it was worth it, matured us, and matured us as a couple. I'm also proud to say that I married the man who was my only boyfriend and the person who took away my virginity and is a father of my children. And I'll love him until I die.

Mangled discussion thing, meh.

And equitypetey, you're awesome, I share the same opinion as you.

PS. Celebs and modern day society surrounded by them is bullshit and disgusting.

 

nice one. sometime hard times are the best for relationships as it shows the true colors of a relationship and if you work had it pays off.

i true relationship whether your married or not should feel like the other person in your life is a part of you and if you didn't have them you would feel incomplete and like you can't function properly that's how i feel anyway, i am just one side of a coin and my partner is the other and life is one big game of heads and tails and without her i can't play the game.

 

Although your debate was good, I don't see what's wrong with one-night stands, sometimes it's just nice to have some fun with somebody without being serious, y'know friend with friend? Not complete stranger though because of STI's and what-not plus you may get them pregnant by mistake and get stuck with the child because they didn't want to abort... Now with abortion (Just so y'know i'm not such a bad guy), I only find abortion alright for a certain period of time, when there is no feeling or thoughts in there, the legal abortion time period is too long in my opinion as the later couple of weeks they have developed those aspects... So yeah, something like 5 weeks is definately fine, that's why I always get the girl I slept with to have a pregnancy test 2 weeks later...

Oh yeah: Always use a condom if you don't want somebody to get pregnant!

 

I'm actually against abortion because of my experiences. Everyone who probably does get one, down the line, they think how the baby would of turned out. I also oppose one night stands and fuck buds (sorry but lack of a better word) because I believe that sex belongs in a loving relationship, hence the synonym of sex: making love.

Cj, atleast you know the consequences of sex. A lot of people (especially around here) don't know the consequences. I respect that. :\

 

I'm all for premarital sex WITH protection, but I think a significant determining factor in this would be the society you live in as well.

If you happen to live in a conservative country, what happens if you openly admit you've had premarital sex? Wouldn't most people brand you all sorts of derogatory things like "immoral" or "slutty"? The same thing happens to people who admit they're "saving themselves for marriage" in liberal countries too, except with different insults.

Even if you believe differently, the prevailing sexual belief of your culture plays an important part in your opinion: whether or not you're for or against it, or whether or not you're going to lie about what you really think. Coming from a predominantly Catholic country myself, I find this especially true when I'm faced with the more narrow-minded members of my community.

 

Yeah, it's hard to make decisions with all the good sides to each argument, but the main thing is prevention of things you don't want to happen to yourself and ones you are involved in, I sometimes wonder if any decision is right... v_v

 

^Umm, do you realize the consequeces of that. One, the hippy movement would move back in. Two, think of this, say you find a girl and fall deeply in love with her. You do the Shezy-Wezy thing and she leaves, one night stand. Your heartbroken blah blah blah. Marriage isn't only a peice of paper. It's a bond. And honestly it's the second to last seal of trust between a man and woman or whatever your into. Then sex is the last, It says hey we'll have this kid and they'll grow up and it'll be great. Let's go for another scenario. Your standing at the alter, and then the brides maid comes out and says she's gone. Once again, heartbroken. Obviously this happens a lot, so marriage isn't only a piece of paper, it's mixed with all kinds of feelings. "Do I really want to spend the rest of my life with this guy/chick?" Honestly, I'd rather not have sex with someone and have absolutley no connection with them, girlfriend or no, and I'd really rather not lay where many have, know what I mean? So, no, I'm for marriage first and sex later. I'd MUCH rather know who I'm sleeping with on a intimate level other than just the feeling of what's it's like with her.

 

Civil partnership thingy dude...
You can have a bond without having that silly old tradition attached, plus it's a religious tradition, what about the athiests and the religions that don't have marriage?