Parenting tips needed!

I'm not the parent here that is in need, my aunt and uncle are. My little cousins are the main problem. I basically feel like I'm the one doing all of the parenting. I wish their older sister would do something, but, she could care less as she is pretty much a man-hater . I'm on the verge of calling for "Super Nanny." For the sake of these kids' futures and my sanity, I need advice, please! :'(

First, here is the younger brother, age 8:

• very little brain matter in his cranium ???
• listens but does not think
• thinks but does not listen
• cries over the smallest of things
• never stops talking
• tries to act cute by doing things that obviously aren't (look at "never stops talking")
• in a constant state of sugar-high (not really, but you get the idea)
• acts like a girl (by god, he wear a pink backpack! )

Here's the older brother, Age 10:

• doesn't know his superiors
• wants everything his way
• believes he can say "shut up" or "whatever" to anyone
• weighty
• blames everything on little brother
• accuses people of "being no fun"
• whines when things don't go his way
• appears to be trying to hump little brother ! !

Heres what they have in common:

• they see it, they like it, they want it, they get it. They're basically spoiled! :-[
• always want junk food
• I forgot "they break it" almost anything that comes within physical contact of them broke (minus the obvious)
• run around for absolutely no reason what-so-ever (they'll break something dang it!)
• they ask for things that they obviously can't have (no sense of business )
• in need of speech therapy
• forget any important lessons of life within 24 hours

Those are the main problems. The rest are slight disturbances, but I'll live through them. If anyone has some parenting tips that will absolutely work, could you post them here?

 

Thanks man! ;D

 

Im the father of a 13yrold boy who's autistic "Not nearly as bad as what you are normally associating with the word." But mostly what it looks like is shitty parenting. a lot of it seems like the word "NO" hasn't been used, if they even know what it means.
You really need to scold the parent's since you will just become the Ahole back when they go home and get their way. ADHD is a real possibility and so will diabities when they eat too much of that sugar.

The older sister shouldn't even be mentioned, kick it out of your mind because she seems neutral to the whole situation. Punishment can turn into attention which obviously they want, there is the misbehavior. My son doesn't do those things so im not experienced.

At the age they are, "humping" is really, i would say, normal. but they should learn its NOT proper and shouldn't do it... same as if they were running around naked. OH, the talking is a good sign of ADHD because they can't shut the damn switch off. Think of a revved engine "that cant be turned off and never runs out of gas" I have ADHD and was worked with by the best in my state. Tried every medication. comes down to me having to learn self control, none of the meds were sufficient.

err, sorry for my jumbled post, most of it all is them having no rules and parents having no control. This should have been laid down since they were young, now its going to be a pain in the ass. Seriously get the damn sugar away from them, and definatly caffine especially because its not good for you on so many levels. the acid in soda is REALLY strong, research soda and what it does. And most products "junk food" contain high fructose corn syrup, it is used to bind the products together, i was told to keep away from this because of the way my teeth are, gets in the grooves and hard to get out "with brushing"

ah hell, dessert and a snack, 1 snack, is all they need. and always after a decent meal. and also keep fast food away, only as a treat monthly? study, fast food is designed to make you keep eating, plus the calories, fat and sodium.

Again, sorry its all jumbled and hell no i'm not a health nut. just ate a breakfast bar. check the ingredients, high fructose corn syrup, most likely first ingredient. Splenda is good, if used right, can't even taste a difference. I make amazing apple pie, hand picked and my own recipie. only a tablespoon brown sugar and all splenda. can't tell. or my waffles. Hope this all helps.

 

I shall try to remember that :-\

 

remember what? ;D You do need to teach the parents, who will turn and ask "who the hell do you think you are?" you can enforce behavior in your household as in "these are MY rules and while your here you will listen to them" then your just an ass to the kids. but hey, everyone has had to deal with the people who make you take your shoes off when you enter their house. that type of thing. rules ARE rules.

but it all comes to the actual parents and if they disregard their children and they grow up wrong or get sick and die early or whatever it may be "i'm not psyhic" then oh well, shame on them, stupid idiots.
I see people do it all the time, and i say "oh well for them" cold but hey, im not raising their kids. especially strangers.

 

if you didn't know already i'm romulation resident child care expert.
sounds to me like there is nothing wrong with those children, the only thing wrong there is the parents have not done thier job properly and at the end of the day your efforts will go to waste if they are not going to change the way they deal with it.
as for the child that never shuts up. don't say ADHD thats bull to start you said they eat junk food which will contribute to the hyper activity but at the end of the day the best thing to do with a child that doesn't shut up is listen to them.
children naturaly seek attention or recognition all through thier childhood, just listen or channel the childs enegy in to something creative like music, painting, sport ect.
but the magority of what your saying just sounds like its the parents fault for not teaching the children how to behave
and if they can't be bothered to do anything then those children are only going get worse.
just remeber don't ever shout at them get down to their level and talk to them and let them know that they are upseting you and that their behavior is unacceptable, try to get them to respect you as long as your around, it doen't matter if they go back to it when around their parents thats their problem to deal with.
be a good role model and show them the right way to do things
be happy
stay safe
and do enjoyable things
oh and be consistant, never drop your boundries, give consiquences NOT PUNISHMENT and if they are looking for attention give it to them but only in a positive way.

 

well, not like i was stating it had to be that "adhd" it is over diagnosed, see how it is after a diet change. I never shout at my child. no reason to. Everything CAN be done with explination even if they dont fully understand it.

childcare expert...childeren... roms... funny mix. ;D next is daycare. we send our kids to seph.

 

The mistake's not with the kids, it's with the parents. Once spoiled, there's not much to do about it.

However, i share my dad's opinion: a slap once in a whilçe can correct many things. Just don't do it too many times.

 

i dont hit. its a delicate balance and no ones advice is even 80% correct, every situation is different.

now hitting the parents... yeah. as always your a bystander. wouldn't want a stranger scolding your kids? your not a stranger but still. you need a sit down with the parents and a deep discussion, probably will end up a bit ugly but they are their kids... in a few years they may end up sitting and saying to themselves, "damn we should have listened to him"

i'm dipping out of the topic, will check back soon. see if problem became resolved. :-\ godspeed.

 

if you have to raise your hand to a child it means you have lost controle and failed your child not the child failing you.
children should know there boundaries. most miss behaving is because they do not have enough stimulation or positive attention.

lets take the old screaming child in a shop scenario, that child would of not got to that point if they understood that they don't get what they ask for.
i see so many children do this and then the parent either buys the thing which is only ever going to end in it happening again or they smack the child and well i don't need to really comment on that but I'll tell you the after math of that on the child and how they behave

 

was dipping out, after this i will. need a bit of humor in here.

anyway, the old "beating the child while yelling WE DONT HIT!!! or DONT HIT!!"
That is the old normal for when your child hits a sibling, friend, or you yourself.

;D idiots. right? Its actually a joke i say often. Also, ive know people who yell curse and throw things, all when scolding their child, dragging them and such.... normally it gets this way around teenage years. That is when its acceptable. and only when.

I completely agree on the yelling, lose control and all you do is teach the child the same. I also believe when they start demanding things its simply best to ignore them, or lightly scold them. maybe tell them your not going to take them to the store anymore? then they get NOTHING! not even the temptation.

Offering treats as something for good behavior, its not a dog and will cause eating disorders, mostly the anti depression eating. "eat to feel good, self defeating thing" Another reason to remove "addicting" foods, a lot of food is specificly designed to make you consume it. mostly sugar and caffine products.


Anywho, hope i'm atleast a little useful. my son IS spoiled, and is learning responsibilities and such, and not getting an inch edge wise. he's 13 remember?old enough. still wont hit. never will, god forbide he hits me. wont hit but OMG his life'll be hell.

"my new joke is" (thats it your punished, no electricity for a month!!) funny? i do it to everything, even the tv. gets a laugh.

 

come on guys, theres a difference between abuse and discipline, I was 'smacked' all the time and it never did me any harm, if anything it did me a lot of good. But that needs to start at a younger age, its not the smacking part (the pain, though we were never hit hard) that gets the action, its the meaning behind it. If a child learns that a smack means he's doing something he shouldnt then it will continue to work, even if you only tap him instead of smacking.

 

sheesh i never expected this topic to get even 10 responses ???

 

you've not been at romulation for long then!!!
threads like this always take off because its the type of thing that people have opinions on

 

in case any one is confused about the "listens but does not think" and "thinks but does not listen" part, think of it this way:
If someone tells him to stop talking, he overdoes it. He'll try to hold his breath until he passes out.

In the "thinks but does not listen" scenerio, when he is registering something into what is left of his brain, he will ignore every word someone says to him and then he will act as if no one has been talking to him the entire time.

 

attention and attention. he could always be "slow" i take a while to process stuff. or just more concerned with what is going on that he ignores outside influence. "confusing myself now"

Anyway, stop calling him retarded "essentially the same thing your saying"

Quote: "when he is registering something into what is left of his brain" a joke is one thing, but anything other is detrimental. Don't speak this way to a child "if you do"


Anyway, im not leaving the topic. decided its too hot.

 

HumrH360,

Hello there.  I partly agree with fallen leader about the sugar causing excess energy = leading to hyper-activity. A lot of the time people blame it on bad parenting but sometimes they are not at fault really. What he didn't mention was the amount of artificial ingredients, artificial colourings, artificial flavourings and all those E-numbers in the foods the kids probably ingest.  Its a proven fact that these unholy ingredients manufactured by evil men/women in white lab coats are concocted in conjunction with our food supply to:

1) Use the art of advertising and mass media to bypass the human brain long enough to get money from it.  Once that deceptive scheme is sold to the unsuspecting consumer it starts to do it's dirty work.....mostly on our children since they are the most vulnerable.  Ever seen how they market children's products?  It's insidious and reprehensible.

2) Promote and Prolong a fast food nation ripple effect where we rely on cheap quick fixes for our biological nourishment needs.  We save time / convenience at the cost of the Nation's health and physical / mental well being.

All those secret ingredients and their side effects are not taught in schools because in truth they are not natural and can be harmful.  They can cause multitudes of behavioral problems in children or strengthen underlying symptons of inherent disorders.  The US government has already implemented a "Wholesome Food Only" schemes for problematic high schools where they ban soda vending machines in the halls and serve only wholesome homemade meals for lunch ( No foods from packets or tinned goods. All made from scratch ).  What they found was:  a huge increase in attention span / huge decrease in disruptive behavior / more polite and less aggressive behavior / a general uplift of students' attitude and well being.  Basically just a better off scene.

I know your aunt and uncle probably not got the time to cook up home made meals.  Who does?  I have trouble making myself a decent meal when I get home and its tempting to just choose the quick and easy option.  My advice is to use that off day / day of rest to cook up a huge assortement of meals then put the next two days of food in the fridge and the rest in the freezer and then defrost when needed.

There's a multitude of books on the subject of food additives and E-Numbers floating around the market.  It helps you traverse the mine field when grocery shopping.  How many times have you looked at the packet looking for nutritional info and seen all that evil laywer-esque fine print and just gone "Oh well whatever" i'll just pop it into my basket anyway.  I know this world is obsessed with $$$ but the real treasure here is HEALTH.

 

They are bored! Have lots of energy to burn off both mentally and physically, sounds like they need a sport and some parental one on one time. (tried and tested)

 

Err... My parents somehow find the time. Then again, that's because they are natural cooks, since my mom escaped Vietnam during the war and my dad was a P.O.W. so in other words, all of that time trying to simply survive most likely taught them how to cook a great steak or seafood meal faster than Joe Average