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Mnetal Hospital phone menu

Discussion in 'Forum Games, Jokes & Random' started by grimsim1, Aug 29, 2009.

  1. grimsim1

    grimsim1 Well-Known Member

    MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

    Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

    Please select from the following options menu:

    If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

    If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

    If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

    If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want,
    stay on the line so we can trace your call.

    If you are delusional, press 7 and
    your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

    If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully
    and a little voice will tell You which number to press.

    If you are manic-depressive, hang up.
    It doesn't matter which number you press,
    nothing will make you happy anyway.

    If you are dyslexic, press 9-6-9-6.

    If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep
    or before the beep or after the beep.
    But Please wait for the beep.

    If you have short-term memory loss , press 9.
    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

    If you have low self-esteem, please hang up.
    Our operators are too busy to talk with you.

    If you are menopausal, put the gun down,
    hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry.
    You won't be crazy forever.

    If you are blonde, don't press any buttons.
    You'll just mess it up.
     
  2. sylky0604

    sylky0604 Well-Known Member

    why don't you post these in one topic??
     
  3. meganova

    meganova Well-Known Member

    Yeah,
    It also prevent the new thread Spamming.. :D
     
  4. grimsim1

    grimsim1 Well-Known Member

    It's different jokes. It seems better to have separate threads for it. But I am done now anyway.
     
  5. sylky0604

    sylky0604 Well-Known Member

    just make a joke thread
     
  6. meganova

    meganova Well-Known Member

    there's already one. :)
     
  7. sylky0604

    sylky0604 Well-Known Member

    then add the jokes there maybe mega would be so nice to put the link here :D
     
  8. Fragata

    Fragata Well-Known Member

    Im sorry, but i dont get these rules, do you a) ressurect a thread or b) start a new one? You get moaned at for either...
     
  9. kamuikurou

    kamuikurou Well-Known Member

    You can't resurrect a thread if you just bump the thread by adding something unimportant, if it's a joke thread, then posting "LOLZ I LAFF SO HARD AT TIS WAN" in a one-moth dead thread is considered resurrecting for 'bump' purpose. It's better to post something really similar in a single thread, and posting at a one-week dead thread is not resurrecting. Just be sure what you add to the dead thread is something valuable. :D