I am not a goddamn fad.

[I apologize in advance, but this is going to kill me if I don't put it somewhere >.<]

Over the past week, I've noticed something - being gay is apparently "popular".

Some friends and I went into the mall to hang out, and our ventures took us to Hot Topic, which I've known before to be both the nerd and goth store (somehow...). However, stationed proudly at the front were a number of "gay" shirts, which kind of made me giggle, at first.

However, now as I browsed iTunes in anticipation for that new Rooney album, I noticed something on the homepage of the program - GAY PRIDE. I clicked on it and discovered that iTunes was now selling various programs that might "cater" to the gay community. However, all of these were the shows that I very much despise, including my favorite beating post of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

The following events, as well as the existence of these shows and their content (show "The L Word" being about lesbians that contains a lot of sex; "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" being where gay men, apparently beyond the fashion sense of any other person on the face of the goddamn planet, help other, straight men dress), lead me to believe that homosexuality is a fad.

Let this be known - I am not a fucking fad, okay?

Does anyone know what it's like to be afraid of your friends, family, and co-workers about a part of your being? Do you live part of your life as a facade, lying to everyone about just who you are? Have you ever seen your existence turned into an insult, into something that everyone should fear and lament being called? Perhaps - it's things like that that make me feel as though I should be proud that gays are featured in the media, that they can be accepted, and that they can lead great lives.

However, it is not for some fantastic achievement or something of merit to society - they become popular for the sheer and utter fact that they are a homosexual. Take Ellen DeGeneres. She was once an actress on a show who eventually revealed herself to be a lesbian. And she gets her own fucking TV show and builds up her fame not on being an actress or a stand-up comedian (which I had to look up on Wikipedia because I didn't even know WHY in the fuck she was famous), but because she is a lesbian. Or any of the Queer Eye people - they're even known BECAUSE of their being gay, and not for a brilliantly written or performed television show.

It's my opinion that these people harm the public opinion of being gay, because these famous persons oftentimes exhibit the very stereotypical traits of homosexuals that many people detest, and sometimes this bleeds into the public view of that being what ALL gays are like. When I came out to my friends, an experience that was traumatic and the source of many sleepless nights, I was questioned as to why I didn't act like a "normal gay guy".

My life is my life, and everything that I am is just how I am. I also happen to be gay - there is no immediate connection between my personality and actions that pertain to my sexuality. And I am not a goddamn fad - I am me, and I do not want everything that the popular media suggests that I should be to be turned into objects available for purchase and to be popularized to the point where I myself am an outcast within my own minority for not wanting to be that and for thinking that much of the exposure of gays on television, including some of the more famous gays of this era don't really deserve anything for having built up their popularity on little more than a characteristic of their own person.

I don't want the way I dress or the way I act to be attributed to some singular factor of my person - I dress and act however I damn well please, on my own accord, and however I wish to look and act, not DUE to anything, and not to BE anything. Frankly, I'd just rather be left to my own life and to not have to deal with any of this, but I guess I can't do that when I can only chuckle at being called a fag for the reality that this most grave of insults is just a reality of who I am.

 

Right on, dude!

 

Well...As weird as this sounds, that was a great read. In the end it doesn't really matter, all people are different. No matter if your gay or not. Those "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy" guys probably act like that because they are like that, more on the "girly" side. While on the other hand, your probably more laid back, not worrying about fashion, and continue on in a life as just an average person. But, this also does happen with hetrosexual people aswell, who hasn't seen a man or woman act more like their oppisite sex, it still doesn't mean they are gay or not being themselves.

I believe your issue isn't as big as you think. These people you talk about are on tv, it doesn't mean every gay person in the world is like that, maybe they act like that because they are on televison.

But I do understand what you mean at the same time, like there are gays out there that do have a negative effect on the whole image of gays.

In the end this is just my opinion, and I am probably 100% wrong in everything I say, as I am not gay, so really I don't know what it feels like for you. I say continue being yourself, and don't worry for others that you may feel have a negative effect on you and other gays.

On a side note, you chose a great place to post this, on a game site?

 

That was something that had me left confused as well - I didn't even realize that there "was" a normal way to act, and I certainly didn't realize that it would then be a bad thing to NOT act as such. It may just be the friend, or where I live (Idaho isn't, to my knowledge, a very friendly place for me), but I was still rather concerned that I was instantly chalked up to a stereotype and me not acting in it.

Well, the shirts were "Mom, I'm gay" and "Lez be friends (with two girls on it)", so it wasn't as much as gay pride as it was content that was quite literally gay.

Exactly my sentiment, too - I've absolutely no idea what in the world half of the "gay pride" stuff actually brings to the world or to the entire issue, in general. Sometimes, it seems like it doesn't even bring anything to the table - when I heard of public making-out sessions with gay couples, I was actually kind of horrified that it was a show of "gay pride"... frankly, even I don't want to see that, and what message is it supposed to be bringing to people? That gays want the same rights isn't exactly what I had in mind, more so "Wait, what the hell is going on here!?"

And I do realize that, in posting this, not many are going to know exactly what I'm talking about, but it's just kind of the aggression I feel against society sometimes that others can possibly relate to, or other things that people may be able to share the same feelings with or towards.

Actually, the entire notion that one can act "outside" their gender is something that I find to be completely pointless and the remains of an old way of thinking. Ideally, people should just be able to act as they feel, and not within whatever sort of ideal boundaries that society thinks they should act in.

I mean, look at the struggle for female suffrage in America - it was opposed oftentimes because it ran against what was considered to be the "traditional role" of females, and that they shouldn't have any mind for politics. So what if a woman pays attention to politics and wants to vote - just because she is a woman should have absolutely no relevance to her capacity and ability to vote.

I know full well that these people on the television are not every single gay person in the world (if only because I can look at myself and tell you otherwise), but it concerns me that the ones that are most broadcast to society, the ones that are most popular and known as being gay are oftentimes the ones that damage the public opinion.

Again, in being asked why I didn't act like "a normal gay guy", I was concerned with the fact that there WAS a way in which I was supposed to act - I act for myself and nothing more. However, I can see that this plays poorly, just in my own school:

Another student at my school is gay as well, and he is a few steps short of being a "flamer" (or an excessively flamboyant homosexual, for those who don't know ^^), and all he is doing is playing into what he thinks he should act like. Before he began the process of coming out to people, he didn't possess any of the characteristics that he did beforehand, but now he pins his attention to detail in noticing a girl's earrings that had, before, ran unnoticed to everyone else due to his sexual orientation.

That is wrong, and will forever be wrong - being gay does NOT give you the superpowers of attention to detail, or anything else that I'm apparently supposed to have. Fuck fashion, I can barely maintain a constant look for myself and don't even know what half of the current trends are right now (I had to search on Wikipedia what the "scene" fashion was).

^ exactly why I went here, rather than elsewhere. I could have gone to any forum and posted this, but I know this forum to be rather open and full of intelligent individuals who can formulate their own opinion and carry on a discussion, and not fanboys or unmovable bigots.

 

Thanks for that =] it's nice to see that not all gay persons in entertainment have built up their career solely on being gay...

Unfortunately, I'm talking from an American perspective here, as much as I regret it, sometimes. I don't really know what it's like in other countries, and I can always be speaking just for myself, but I at least know that there's one cluster of people contained within my state that would enjoy seeing me lynched (no joke - there's a neo-Nazi sector here that holds an annual White-Power parade through a town in northern Idaho), and that, otherwise, I'm to be looked down upon and viewed as the weird outcast (as I noticed in wearing a shirt with Gir from Invader Zim on it).

 

Regarding your original post: are you saying you detest the stereotypical gay tendencies?

Sounds like its rough in Idaho eh? But being from another country, I'll tell you what I've observed would happen if you were to be gay in Jamaica. So if you show these 'typical' tendencies and another guy notices it on the street or wherever, they usually tell their friends and they follow this man (for some reason they only go after gay men and not women) and they beat the crap out of him (as if to beat the gayness out of him) and sometimes even kills him. But this is only centered to the cities, resort areas are fine, because of the large visiting population and they come and go.

But as aggressive at this sounds, it should be noted that this doesn't happen very often, but there just is a widespread general consensus that gayness is not accepted in Jamaica. I oppose my homeland views to kill a innocent person just because of their sexual orientation; its just like racism and whites killing blacks or enslaving them because of their 'inferior' skin tone.

By the way, Gir from Invader Zim is AWESOME!

 

I do detest the stereotypical tendencies, with a passion - not only do I find them annoying, but oftentimes just put on and a complete 180 from what the person normally acts like. I don't find openly gay people, nor do I mind flamboyant people, but when someone changes their entire person, as my school friend did, it really bugs the tar out of me...

... and that's entirely horrible in Jamacia... things like that really make me kind of sad for humanity. Of all the things that one could actually beat and murder another for, sexual orientation seems entirely irrelevant (actually, the idea of murder is pretty irrelevant in my opinion anyways, but... xD). Yeah, I don't have it that bad - I don't have to fear for my life, but just from being outcast or verbally lampooned from classmates or random bystanders...

Though, actually, I'm somewhat scared of my father - telling a religious man that his only sun isn't going to be having kids by any natural means isn't going to go over well >.< and besides that, the idea of being assaulted doesn't seem too far-fetched to me, but I don't particularly feel in danger of it, either.

And yes, Gir is amazing, being as why I was confused as to why I got all the stares and looks of weirdness. I was expecting waves of exhilaration at the mere sight of him... perhaps a Doom song at the very, very least.

 

@9Nine, gay is the new black. There is this idea that gay people are a bit like everybody else but not quite, like black people in the past. Some straight people seem to think that being gay puts you into a very conveinient box, that you must be this way or react that way, like black people in the past.

Sadly some black people have got it into their minds that gay people are the new enemy, that's savagery.

 

Does that mean gays are going to come up with their own sport and then own at it, like Blacks and Basketball?

Also does that mean they'll be cast as the cool guy in a load of cop shows/movies? (Starsky & Hutch for example)

And finally, does that mean they'll be rumors about enlarged genitalia surrounding them? (I have an asian friend nicknamed "Mr 18 Inches"...)

1prinnydood's comments just led me to ask these questions, as they're all things black people have done/had done to them over time and as gay is the new black, I was then wondering...

 

prinnydood:
no. just no.

ninebreaker:
Being gay and being part of the 'gay culture' are two different things. Stereotypes exist for a reason, and overcoming them can be difficult. I have generally hated being around most - not all - openly gay people I have met. It had nothing to do with who they liked to take it from. Most of them were just loud, annoying, attention seekers.

 

I've a feeling that black people who are also are pretty fucked then, non?

lol, I don't think so =P although that would be entirely interesting to see happen, I don't see that happening.

However, I will and have seen being gay used as a scapegoat for activites in movies - In Boondock Saints, the lead police detective is apparently a homosexual, but doesn't have any scenes in which it is at all relevant to the plot. In one, he is called to work while another man cuddles with him in bed, and, in another, it is used as a reason to crossdress and make out with another guy to create a distraction... somehow.

Yay for your first post! and that's what I've noticed, that being gay and being of the gay culture are two entirely different things (even by standard definition) - I just don't want the gay culture to become corrupted and grow to the extent where everything put forward by that, including but not limited to the stereotype and its respective characteristics, to entail what being gay is. Being "gay" is having a sexual attraction to people of your own gender. Being of the gay culture is everything that is pushed out with the tag of "gay" on it (other than Halo 3 rantings of a 9-year-old).

Unfortunately, I know and have been around very few other gay people (I hate Idaho, I hate Idaho, I hate Idaho...), but half of the ones I have seen are particularly annoying and have a bad tendency to act out, oftentimes WITH their sexuality (as my gay classmate runs around showing pictures of him making out with his boyfriend to everyone, because we cared to see that nonsense).

People like that make me want to crawl in a hole somewhere...

 

you said your not a goddam fad but you said your saying your homosexual you just contradicted the point of this thread, no offence and i agree about what you said about gay people but i don't think pride is good either and its not fad its fag.

 

You've... missed the point of what I was saying, or at least trying to attempt to - yes, I am gay, I simply don't want that to become some sort of "fad", where it is just marketed, is cool, or is some sort of publicity stunt or trait used in, by, or for the media as some sort of ploy or as a means of furthering ones career. I'm expressing a distaste in that it appears as though a lot of people are missing the point about what being "gay" really is, and I find that annoying.

 

Your comments seem very childish. I just don't think you get the point of this topic.

 

Alright, I admit it, I laughed so damn hard at this I thought I was going to suffocate. I think you should look up the word "fad" at some point so you get a better understanding of what he's talking about next time and save yourself some embarrassment.

Actually, I'm in such a good mood right now I'll provide the definition too.

"Fad"
a custom, style, etc. that many people are interested in for a short time; passing fashion; craze

 

Exactly what I was thinking - to be honest, that kind of sounded like something I would hear in playing Halo 3 and doing well in it for an extended period of time.

^ thank you and that made me laugh really hard, as well xD

Entirely true - half of the things we buy, especially clothing, are determined by stereotypes, and even the desire to be one. Take a look at any social networking site and look at all of the emo children - they had to buy all of the clothes for that look, buy the music to go along with their mood (or not really, I guess =O), get the piercings done, and so on...

Actually, in talking about the 1960's counter-culture recently before school got out, I thought I brought up a good point - in order to be part of this group, or of the hippie stereotype, you had to buy all of those clothes, all of the music, all of the drugs, and everything that made you a "hippie" - you quite literally bought into being a stereotype and into the fad of being so, and then, ten, twenty years later, all of that movement dies and now you're working for "the man" you so detested.

You gotta love fads.

 

it's one of the major parts of marketing (covering it in business studies atm) is Market Segmentation.

If you want an example, watch the first 10/15 minutes of the EA E3 conference, and listen how many times the word player or consumer is replaced with girl/s

 

Thanks.