How a seven year old explains sex?

How a seven year old explains sex

Little Johnny was 7 years old
and like other boys his age rather curious.

He had been hearing quite a bit about
'making out' from the older boys, and
he wondered what it was and how it was
done.

One day he took his question to his
mother, who became rather flustered.
Instead of explaining things to Johnny,
she told him to hide behind the
curtains one night and watch his older sister
and her boyfriend.

This he did. The following morning,
Johnny described EVERYTHING to his
mother.

"Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked
for a while, then he turned off most of
the lights. Then he started kissing and
hugging her. I figured 'Sis must be
getting sick, because her face started
looking funny.

He must have thought so too, because he
put his hand inside her blouse to feel
her heart, just the way the doctor
would. Except he's not as smart as the
doctor because he seemed to have
trouble finding her heart. I guess he was
getting sick too, because pretty soon
both of them started panting and
getting all out of breath.

His other hand must have been cold
because he put it under her skirt.

About this time 'Sis got worse and
began to moan and sigh and squirm around and
slide down toward the end of the couch.
This was when her fever started. I knew
it was a fever, because Sis told him
she felt really hot.

Finally, I found out what was making
them so sick......-a big eel ;had
gotten inside his pants somehow.



It just jumped out of his pants and stood there,
about 10 inches long, honest, anyway he
grabbed it in one hand to keep it from
getting away.

When Sis saw it, she got really
scared-her eyes got big, and her mouth
fell open, and she started calling out
to God and stuff like that. She said it
was the biggest one she's ever seen; I
should tell her about the ones down at
the lake by our house!


Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill
the eel by biting its head off. All of
a
sudden she grabbed it with both hands
and held it tight while he took a
muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it
over the eel's head to keep it from biting
again.

Sis lay back and spread her legs so she
could get a scissor-lock on it and he
helped by lying on top of the eel. The
eel put up a hell of a fight.

Sis started groaning and squealing and
her boyfriend almost upset the couch.
I guess they wanted to kill the eel by
squashing it between them.

After a while they both quit moving and
gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend got
up, and sure enough, they killed the eel. I
knew because it just hung there, limp,
and some of its insides were hanging
out.

Sis and her boyfriend were a little
tired from the battle, but they went
back to courting anyway. He started
hugging and kissing her again. By
golly, the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight
up and started to fight again.

I guess eels are like cats- they have
nine lives or something. This time, Sis
jumped up and tried to kill it by
sitting on it. After about a 35 minute
struggle, they finally killed the eel.
I knew it was dead, because I saw Sis's
boyfriend peel its skin off and flush
it down the toilet.

 

that was super funny : : : : : :-* :-* :-* ;D ;D ;D

 

at least his sis wasn't a lesbian, that might be even more confusing. =/

 

>.>

this remind me of South Park's Lord of the Ring episode.

 

Funny, but not funny enough to make me laugh, its kinda just a dirty story with metaphors....

 

Actually not funny at all....

 

Yeah.. it was corny :-\

 

how do i say this......

>.<


no comment..??

 

This is so made up. What kind of mother would let a boy go see his sis and her boyfriend.
What's the point of this story? Humor? Not so funny though.

 

Of course it's made up....it's a joke
....an unfunny joke

 

Considering your taste in humor, I'd say this is better than any of your jokes...

Also, old joke is old. I think the first time I heard that one was when I was like 12.

 

I think I'm not gonna say much here. Although, I did hear this when I was younger, like Reider said.

 

Thats harsh...
I have an excellent sense of humour....it's just that I seem to be the only one here that appreciates slapstick...
Besides I haven't posted any jokes...so it's a bit soon to be making asumptions...
I could make plenty of assumptions about you but I'm a nice guy so I'll spare you the pain

 

it wasn't that bad, it was kinda funny, but it was a little disgusting and impossible...

 

This is funny.

 

I chuckled for about a second

 

I don't understand you guys....
It was childish and lame...

Anyway....seven year olds tend to at least know basic anatomy...
An eel ? : :

 

Sorry iamlegend but you need a sense of humor to come in this section.

 

This is pretty funny!

Geez, a 10-inch "eel"... that's huge!

 

can you explain that a bit moore oi
i dont get it