Funny Priest and Nun Joke (NOT racist)

A priest and a nun go golfing. On the first hole, the priest has a two foot put. He hits the golf ball, and the ball rims the hole and goes back out. "holy *&@# I missed," said the priest. "Oh my gosh," the nun says, "God is going to be really angry at you." "I promise I won't say that again," the priest says.
On the ninth hole the priest encounters the same situation. He misses again. "Holy *&@# I missed," said the priest. "Oh my gosh, God is going to send you to hell." "Fine," the priest says, "I won't say that again."
On the last hole, the priest was going for his record. He hits the ball and it rims the ball and goes out. "Holy *&@# I missed!" "oh my gosh," the nun says, "god is going to strike you by lighting!" And then the crowds roll in and BOOM!!! the nun drops dead. And then the priest hears a loud booming voice from above, "holy &*@# I missed."
From, Gameace99

 

father ted

 

Ha.

Haha.

Lol.

Lolol.

Nice joke.

;D

 

XD XD XD funny

 

Can I ask something?

Are green jokes (toilet humor) allowed on a PG - 13 forum? Because I know of a green joke about a priest?

 

yes i think
good joke ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

 

I missed haha

 

There were three people stranded in a rowboat at the middle of the ocean, a priest, a doctor & an attorney. They were paddling aimlessly when a strong wave crashed against the side of the boat causing one of its oars to fall out into the water. One of them was about to reach for it when a pack of sharks suddenly came from out of nowhere & began circling around them.

Everyone was a bit scared but someone had to get the oar back. "I can't go, if any of you died I got to pray for your safe passage into heaven", said the priest. "I can't go either, if any of you died I've got to do the autopsy report", said the doctor. "Fine, I'll get it" said the attorney, with that, he jumped right in & to the surprise of the other two the sharks moved away & let him get the oar. After climbing back in the boat the other two asked the attorney about what had just happened, "Professional courtesy I guess", said the attorney

 

damn i hate attourneys -

 

not that funny but its ok

 

I don't know. I get the humor of it but it's not the funniest thing in the world. Sorry

 

lol that's funny...

 

Here's another, but this's a little green & may offend so I'll understand if the Admins/moderators would want me to delete it, here goes:

A plane was flying over a remote Island in the Pacific, when it suddenly experienced some engine problems. The Pilot couldn't do anything so the plane crashed, killing everyone, except for four passengers, a Priest, a Doctor, a Teacher & a lawyer. Little did they know, the island was the home of a savage tribe of homosexuals. Upon their capture, they were brought to the tribal Elder, the head fag. The Elder told the four men that any male trespassers on the island is given two choices, to live or to die. "If you choose to live, you nust make out with me", said the Elder. This shocked, horrified & disgusted the four captives, but what choice do they have?

The lawyer said to himself, "I'd rather live & be molested by this prick, because my clients need my guidance & knowledge of the law, plus no one will ever find out". And so he made out with the elder & was sent on his way.

The Teacher then said to himself, "I'd rather live & be molested by this prick, because my students need me to teach them, plus no one will ever find out". And so he made out with the elder & was sent on his way.

The Doctor also made out with the Elder because he was thinking of his patients.

But the Priest refused, never wanting his body be defiled by such heathen scum, so he chose death....

Wild, joyous cheers began to echo in the tribe as the Elder passed judgement on the priest.

"Very well you have chosen your fate, prepare the priest for his sentence..."

"DEATH BY MAKING OUT WITH EVERYONE IN THE TRIBE"

 

lol now thats funny hahahaha death by making out with everyone

 

Death by orgasm.

 

death by being used and used....

 

I posted this joke on the forum a long time ago but i am going to post it ago. so that everyone can see it

Three senior military officers were talking about the subject of bravery. the Army general said, "Gentlemen, if you want to see bravery look at this."

The general called a private towards him and say,"Private attack that tank with your rifle."
"Yes sir!Anything you say,sir!"

With that, the young private attack the tank, which flatten him.

The Air Force general, do not want to be outdone, called a pilot and said,"MAJOR, i want you to take the chopper up to 1,000 feet and jump down without your parachute."

The pilot saluted and take his chopper up. Ten minutes later, the senior officers watched as the pilot splattered onto the ground from 1,000 feet.

The admiral took the two general and went aboard a ship. He call out to a sailor, climb to the top of the mast and jump into the sea."

The sailor looked at the admiral and shouted, "WHAT? Go to hell , admiral, SIR!"

The admiral turned to the other and say proudly,"Gentlemen, now this is what i called BRAVERY!"

 

ha so brave to answer the admiral like that

 

WHAT? Go to Hell, Admiral, SIR!


hahaha!