If this is not the right board... I'm sorry. Anyway. “FINAL DAWN” Prologue “Hey Leo, come down here, breakfast ready!” My mom said Oh, I want to introduce myself, my name is Leo Prince, a 2nd-year High school, I think my height is around 5’4- 5’5, girls in school said that I’m a cute guy, but I don’t believe that and I’m somehow a slim person. As I stood up from bed, I suddenly felt dizzy because of the party I joined last night. Well, its summer so it is okay, and mom said I can stopover in my friends’ house if I want since I have the money, the money was supposed to be used for my summer class, but luckily, I’m not going to do that so they just gave it to me. After I ate my breakfast, I went up. I woke up again after a few hours. It is 12:21. Then I suddenly remember I am going to buy a new game for my Ultimate PC, I called it ultimate since I made a tweak for my computer that makes it really, really cool! After a few minutes, I finally finish to take a bath. I put my clothes on. I am wearing a Blue polo T-shirt, a gray slack, and shoes. I say bye to my mom, Dad’s not around, probably, because of work. I go in the biggest shop of games in our town; they always have the newest games and softwares, they even know my name for the reason that I always buy their stuffs and because of that, they made a membership policy, 40% all of its members. After biking a few miles, I finally get in the shop. “Hey Leo! Going to buy something?” Mrs. Foster said “Yes! Do you have any adventure game or something like that?” I answered back. “We have a new game, but it’s only one stock since the deliverer said that it should be tested. Unfortunately, we don’t have a tester right now, do you think you can test it, it’s also summer, I hope you do.” “Sure, I’d love to!” “Follow me.” I started to follow Mrs. Foster. Since I am a member, I can freely go inside their stock room. “Here it is” She is holding the game “FINAL dawn.” I whispered I look the back of the game, there are no screenshots, but there is a description, it said, “The story started when a guy named Reid Flair…” The other suddenly became blurred. Or, is it just my eyes? “Something wrong?” “When did you get this game?” “Just last night.” “Night?” “Yeah, someone just put it on the back door with the letter saying that this game needs to be tested.” “Weird.” My superstitious sense suddenly activated. “Did you say something?” “Oh, nothing. Sure I’ll test it, just give me 1 week.” I get out of the room and say goodbye to the other people. “I’m starting to have weird feelings when I’m holding this thing.” I thought while biking “Leo, wait up!” “Huh?” I looked back. “So, Can I go with you to your house, you seem to have a new game.” “Sure, Brian. Anyway, when did you buy that Bike?” “Last week.” “Oh, okay.” Brian, my bestfriend, he is also a computer addict, but he’s great person. He’s around 5’7-5’8, he’s kinda slim like me. “Mom, I’m here!” At last, we got back, but no one is answering. I saw a letter in the door of my room. “Leo, this is your mom, I’ll be out of a month because of some business problems in my work. You can have a party there if you want just clean it up, okay. Love, Mom.” It said “Brian, let’s play, Mom is not here.” Brian goes back home and get his laptop, he also want the game. When he finally comes back in my house, I first installed the game and next him, I wait him. “WOW!” We said, we were amazed when we saw the graphics of the trailer “This is very cool, it really look like a person.” My bestfriend exclaimed “Do you remember what we’ve wish when we’re still an elementary?” “What? Oh, you’re saying the wish that we want to be in a game.” “Yeah! And I’m saying it again.” “Me too.” After a couple of minutes, the installation was finished. “FINALLY!” He shouted As we start playing it… we hear a strange sound, getting louder and louder. “Stop making sounds on your computer like that, Leo!” “It’s not me!” “It’s pretty creepy!” When we look back on our Computer and Laptop, a very bright light pop out in our gadgets and it makes us unconscious. -END OF PROLOGUE!-
Thanks! Anyway, i'm writing chapter 8... Is this the first time someone post a creative story in Romulation?
I'm writing this story because I want to improve my grammar. Chapter 1 When I woke up, I cannot reminisce what just happened. “Where am I?” I looked everywhere. I just got back in myself when I noticed that I was not in my house, “Where’s my PC? Where is Brian? Why on Earth I am in a forest? ” I paused, “Wait a minute… It might because of that flash that the game made. Impossible. But I need to find Brian, first, before I get out of this place.” As I finished what I’ve said, I heard marching; I search where that sound came from. And I found it. “Unbelievable!” I exclaimed, I saw thousands warriors in silver armor with swords, spears, and bows marching towards my left, “Does it mean, I’m really in the game?” I asked myself. And suddenly… “Hey, who are you?” A guy said with a dagger He is wearing a white undershirt with a vest and a blue slacks. He looks like a young bandit, around 16 years old. “I’m… Leo…. Leo Prince.” “You’re not one of them?” “No, and I don’t know why I’m here.” “What do you mean?” “I just woke up and I was here.” “Come with me.” “What? I need to find my friend!” “I don’t care about your friend, I need a new recruit immediately, and I think you can do the job, join or I’ll cut your head off.” He talks scary but his voice is just like mine so I am not that scared but I do not want my head cut off, so I go with him. I look at the sky while walking, there are many big birds flying, and a thing in the sky made me shocked. “Wait a minute!” “Huh?” he replied “What’s that sir…” “Don’t call me sir, my name is Reid Flair.” “Reid Flair? Wait he’s the one in the description on the back of the game.” I whispered “Did you say something.” “Oh nothing. Anyway, What’s that Reid?” I pointed the thing I saw “It’s the Red ring of death.” “Red? It doesn’t look like one.” “It becomes red every night.” “So what that thing really do?” “When I was still in a city 7 months ago, scientist said it was a ring that gets bigger and bigger every time, and might kill every person that will be hit by it when it falls, but no one believes it. And the night after it was told, a person assassinated them and no one ever continue to research for it because they don’t want to die. In addition, two of those scientists were my parents.” “Sorry… Anyway, is it the reason why you became a bandit?” “No… I have my reason so stop asking…” he paused and saw something, “Hey look out!” He ran toward me and pushed me. “Ouch!” I rolled twice and I got dizzy afterwards. When my dizziness gone, Reid is fighting a big bear, twice as big as a big bear I usually see in a zoo. “Wow! I’m really in a game.” I whispered and the bear was the proof. “Don’t just sit there!” He threw a sword. “I don’t know how to use this!” I hold it, and try to lift but it is heavy. “It’s HEAVY!” “I know you’re not that weak.” It boosts my eagerness to lift the sword. Lucky for me, I build up muscles while I’m school. then I succeed lifting it. “Slice the back of the BEAR!” “HOW?” “Climb it you TWIT!” “I’m not a twit!” Reid’s insult makes me rage. I climb at a tree, I was amazed seeing how Reid fights the Bear, he’s so fast, strong, and it make me to respect him so much. “One, two, three.” As I finished counting, I jumped, very high, I can’t believe it… I hit his stab his head instead the back. The bear, obviously, fall dead. “Good work, Leo. I know you can do it, I don’t kill the bear because I want you to be the one to kill it, it’s just a test.” “You mean, you can kill it easily?” “Yes, it’s actually a baby… Its mother would come soon, it’s very strong, and you can be killed.” “Baby?!?!” I, once again, became amazed. Reid is not bad, I guess he’s nice; he does not let me to be killed by that bear. “Here we are!” “WOW!” It is a little village near on the valley. “What’s the name of this village?” “Village of Ruckus. Full of swords, equipments, and it’s easily to hide here since soldiers of King Elliot are not interested here.” “And who’s this King Elliot?” “The ruthless king of Hargan Kingdom.” “Ruthless? You mean killing every person against him?” “Worse than that, He killed the person who didn’t finish the task he command, and sometimes, kill almost all people in the nearby village and loot all their things.” “He’s crazy!” “And it’s our mission, to bring him down, no it’s just my mission, my comrades are out of that, their only mission is to steal the thing they will see when we enter the castle, and even you, you’re also out of there!” “I wonder why he tells that thing to me, was he just slipped or did he do it on purpose?” I followed him and we entered in an armor and weapon shop. “Why are we here?” I asked him silently I saw big swords, spears and shields, but they seem to be antiques and rusty. Reid called me and as I enter the room, I saw new swords, shields, and many more! “Okay, here are the new weapons and armors but I suggest you take the light leather and weapon.” “Himm…” I can’t pick anything, everybody’s cool and awesome, “How about… No…” “Sir…” A guy said, “I’d suggest you to use this leather armor.” He showed me a plain leather, “This can help you to first, develop your body, to broad your body. And about the weapon, use this light claymore.” I wear the leather, it’s not that heavy, but I feel great in this armor, “Can this protect me from a sword?” “Let’s try!” Reid said He gets his broadsword “Easy Reid, I can be hurt because of that.” He stabs it to me but I did not feel anything. “I didn’t feel anything.” “It’s because it’s weak.” I look for pants that can suit in my armor. “Leo, after you do anything here, follow me in the hideout, and don’t speak about I’ve said to you outside.” He whispered “Okay.” He waited me for almost half an hour, it’s hard to choose, then finally I see a nice gray pants. “Finally, you’re finish.” “Sorry for the long wait.” The person in the shop gave me more accessories before we leave, I look better and more awesome because of the accessories, I put my sword in my back. “Did you pay it?” “No…” “Why?” “I don’t need to, he owes his life to us.” “Can you tell me the story?” “Not now, we should hurry it starting to get dark here.” “Okay.” When I look up the Ring of death is starting to get Red. “So it’s really red.” “What?” “The ring of death, it’s really red.” “Oh… you know, there are also a legend for that thing before the scientists told their opinions.” “Tell the story to me!” “Later.” I shut my mouth up. “I wonder where Brian is right now.” I suddenly remember -END-
Yet again a great piece of literature Post Merge: [time]1256461433[/time] Karl I'll be going in to operation tomorrow, If I'm not replying I'm away
CHAPTER 2 We enter an abandon house, it’s not really dark, but I only see dim lights. We go down using a stair. And I saw a pretty rusty door. “Why are we here?” “Just wait; you will know why, when we enter.” I stay quiet after asking it. We enter the room, and the time when we got inside, I saw bunch of bandits, I think they are thirty (30) plus. And the room is so big and not dirty, It looks like a modern bar for me. “Is this your hideout?” “Yeah.” “It looks like not, it looks like just a bar.” “It does, but actually, only few people know that this bar is our hideout. In addition, every morning, the upper part, when we enter first, is a potion and a magic shop, this shop is open until afternoon. and in night, this bar is open until morning.” “Pretty confusing, if you ask me.” “Never mind. Anyway Follow me, I’ll show your room.” When we’re walking, I heard whispering, but I didn’t hear it clearly. Again, there is a stair; it’s a stair with only few steps, and of course a door. We enter it and I saw many rooms. He locked the room, and I heard nothing, like no one's speaking outside. “Sound proof door?” “Yes, There’s a magic within this place, it was called silence.” “Magic? Silence? I’m not surprised.” I said “Okay, your room is in the 42th room. Anyway, the room has everything, check it out by yourself.” “Okay.” I start walking “Wait! About the story, would you tell it to me?” “I’m just going to give you the book where I read it and my notebook where I wrote the other legends I heard.” “Okay.” I enter my room, and I suddenly feel how tired I am right now. I lie down in my bed, it’s not that comfy like my bed in my room, and I’m not used to sleep in a bed I’ll use in the first time. *Brian’s POV* “Darn it! It’s already night! And this road will take forever before I reach a town!” “I’m tired, I’m walking for almost three hours, and yet, I see no village here. I wonder if Leo is here too, in the game.” Anyway, I’m going to introduce myself, I’m Brian Pierce, bestfriend of Leo. Well, we are best friends since when we were still kids. I sat down in a rock to get my breath back. Minutes after, I heard a groan. “Who’s there?” The grunt is starting to get louder and louder, like it’s getting nearer and nearer to me. I spot a person who is coming toward me. I go near him, he looks like he’s drunk. “Are you okay?” I heard he grunted He looks at me, his eyes have an unusual color, it’s white. He suddenly grabs me and we both fall down. “Darn it! Hey!” I saw his teeth, he tried to bite me! “What the?!?!” I said while dodging his attacks, “Is this guy a zombie?” I thought His breath is smell as a rotten food in the garbage. I tried to push him off by kicking his private part, and I somehow succeed. I tried my best to stand up quickly as I can. “*Pant* *Pant*” I’m exhausted while fighting this zombie. He’s walking toward me again. “Think Brian, THINK!” I looked everywhere to find a way how to kill this, I can’t escape until this thing is not dead. I saw a sharp rocks beside the road, “If I just could put him there and stomp his head, he would be dead for sure! But how would I do that and I have no Idea how many are them, maybe he just only one, or maybe he has his buddy with him.” I said “I have no choice but to kill this thing or else he might bite me while I’m resting.” I move toward the sharp rocks, he’s still chasing me. When I got there, I wait him to go near the rocks. Eventually, he is there, trying to grab me, I get his hand and it makes him to fall in the rocks, he’s not yet dead so I kick his head. Bloods come out in his head, and guess what… his blood is green. “It stinks!” Someone’s grab me afterwards, “Who are you?” “Uhmm…” I tried to look back; they’re many, 17 or so… “Speak!” I think the guy’s age is in early 30s, his voice sounds like one. “I’m Brian Pierce. *cough*” “Why are you here, at this forsaken place?” a lady said, I think we’re in the same age. “Forsaken!” “This place was quarantined for almost 2 years because of the atmosphere, this once was a very beautiful village. But a disease ‘cause them to be a MAD or in short we called them undead people. They’re like dead, and unstoppable.” “I see… so can you stop holding,*Cough* I’m starting to have a hard time breathing.” He stops it, after it I catch my breath quickly. “Can I ask you the same thing? Why are you here too?” “We have a quite job here.” “And what is that?” “Every day, we must kill, at least 30 undead people.” “You’re doing this for how many days or months?” “We’re doing this for 7 months and 13 days.” “You’re not getting tired doing this?” “Nope…” “We’re almost finished; if you want, you can come with us…” “Sure! I’m walking here for about 4 hours. I’m really, really tired right now.” “Heh… I guess we’re not going to hunt anymore…” “You’re right!” “Huh?” I was confused on what they said. Their form of stance is in aggressiveness, I looked anywhere and I saw…. Hundreds, no, thousands of undead around us! “Oh sh!t” I exclaimed, “How would you kill those things now? I don’t want to die yet!” I cowardly added “Get this sword!” the girl threw something. I got it and it’s a very, very light sword but it so sharp, “Wow! This is the first time I will use a thing like this!” “Let’s have some fun!” The person who hold me run towards the undead, as the time he gets there he swings his sword, trying to kill every undead he will hit. The girl who gave me a sword starts to use her bow, and starts to shoot all the undead in their head. My eyes widen, seeing the battle. “Why are you still standing there?” She shouted “Huh?” “Kill those things!” “I can’t!” “What?” “I can’t do it! I might get killed!” “Don’t be a moron, just swing it and… look at your front!” I looked at my front and two undead are walking toward me. I form a stance that I made when imagining that I was in a game. “Yah!” I yelled so loud, the first undead I think is only 4 meters before he will reach me, when he almost near to me, I swing the sword and hit the neck of the undead. However, the sword was stuck on his neck and he’s still walking toward me, I think I made a bad and weak swing. Thus, I need to kick him for the sword to be released on his neck. Funny thing when I kicked him, the other undead is on his back and they fell together. I laughed secretly. It’s not too long before we found out that they’re not decreasing. “Damnit! They’re not even decreasing.” The guy said “I think we need to use it now.” “Use what?” I asked The girl with a bow took out a staff, “What the?!?! She’s both an archer, and a mage?” She’s saying indistinct voice, the only thing I heard is “Fire of death!” A fire suddenly came out of nowhere, burning the undead into ashes. I was astonished, “Wow, a real magic!” it is so different from what I have imagined. After a minute, everything except us turns to ashes. “How would you possibly…” I looked back, and the girl will collapse. “Oh, no!” I ran toward her and got her. “Hey are you okay!” I said “She’s okay!” A young man said “Huh?” “She’s exhausted and she used her magic that made her more exhausted.” “Go, lift her up!” I did what he said. Eventually, we finally reach the town. There’s an Inn nearby so we rent 2 rooms, it consists of 8 beds per room. When I enter the room, I lie down and I did not notice that I fell asleep. -END OF CHAPTER 2-
Great! How many chapter's are you planning? And also in this sentence"The girl who gave me a sword starts to use his bow, and starts to shoot all the undead in their head. " shouldn't his be her?
