Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day (We came up with these in an effort to interest The Other Dave (Letterman) in TLAPD. His staff liked 'em, but alas, his show was"dark" the week of Sept. 19.) 10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly? 9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm? 8. Come on up and see me urchins. 7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you. 6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon. 5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole? 4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder? 3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free. 2. Well blow me down? And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is … 1. Prepare to be boarded.
Bonus pickup lines (when the ones above don't work, as they often won't) They don’t call me Long John because my head is so big. You’re drinking a Salty Dog? How’d you like to try the real thing? Wanna shiver me timbers? I’ve sailed the seven seas, and you’re the sleekest schooner I’ve ever sighted. Brwaack! Polly want a cracker? … Oh, wait. That’s for Talk Like a PARROT Day. That’s the finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eyes on. Let's get together and haul some keel. That’s some treasure chest you’ve got there. Top Ten Pickup Lines for the Lady Pirates By popular demand ... 10. What are YOU doing here? 9. Is that a belayin' pin in yer britches, or are ye ... (this one is never completed) 8. Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad! 7. So, tell me, why do they call ye, "Cap'n Feathersword?" 6. That's quite a cutlass ye got thar, what ye need is a good scabbard! 5. Aye, I guarantee ye, I've had a twenty percent decrease in me "lice ratio!" 4. I've crushed seventeen men's skulls between me thighs! 3. C'mon, lad, shiver me timbers! 2. RAMMING SPEED! ...and the number one Female Pirate Pick-up Line: 1. You. Pants Off. Now!
Pirate talk fer the younger set By popular request, the Pirate Guys have put together some G-rated piratical lingo lessons fer the wee pirates out there: Andrea, from the Auckland Museum, writes to ask for " a funny and adventurous pirate talk or speech which we can teach children of ages 5 and up." To which Cap'n Slappy responds: Ahoy Andrea! I've taken this opportunity to write a little children's shanty that might be fun AND edumacational. Hope it's useful. Cap'n Slappy A Children's Pirate Shanty by Mark "Cap'n Slappy" Summers (can be sung to the tune of Monty Python's "I'm a Lumberjack and I'm OK" - or make up your own!) Chorus I'm a pirate! That I be! I sail me ship upon the sea! I stay up late - till half past three! And that's a peg below me knee! Yo Ho, my friends I have a tale of treasure, plunder, sea and sail my story's bigger than a whale it gets so deep, ye'll have to bail. Chorus I'm a pirate! That I be! I sail me ship upon the sea! I stay up late - till half past three! And that's a peg below me knee! I like to fish, I like to fight I like to stay up half the night When I say "starboard" ye go right! Me ma, she says, "Ye look a fright!" Chorus I'm a pirate! That I be! I sail me ship upon the sea! I stay up late - till half past three! And that's a peg below me knee! I've got no hand but that's me hook! I pillage stuff but I'm no crook. Me booty's in this chest I took. They'll write about me in a book! Chorus I'm a pirate! That I be! I sail me ship upon the sea! I stay up late - till half past three! And that's a peg below me knee! And that's all there is to this song. I hope it hasn't been too long. A pirate's life might just be wrong So grow up nice and big and strong! Chorus I'm a pirate! That I be! I sail me ship upon the sea! I stay up late - till half past three! And that's a peg below me knee!
I should make you walk the plank for reminding us... Instead, I'll just go get a D.W.B (Drunk While Boating for you slow people)
