Days End- All we can do is try

I've noticed a lot of you have been having some obstacles in life.

You may not think much of dedboy, but he's not involved in this thread, Dan is.

If you'd like some help on things in life, please post it-
Or PM me.


I know the idea of a help thread for life's woes is somewhat laughable, so in that vein you'd have nothing to lose should you truly need or want help.

No bullshit in this thread please, there are far too many other threads to BS in, so go there and screw them up.

This thread is about people who will most likely never meet outside the confines of a computer, discussing what they've been through.

You don't have to post it word for word. But the more info you give the better it is to asses what's going on, and the faster you can get to the point you can smile again without reservation.


You know me well enough by now. 31 years of age, military background, studied psychology, but ended up working electrical engineering, until I started working for the NNPD, not too long ago.

I told but a few of this;
When I was 17, I witnessed a horrific car accident in front of me, roughly 50 feet.
A drunk driver crossed the medium and crashed into a car driven by a 27 year old female, and her 5 year old daughter.
My friend was with me, he ran to check on the drunk driver.
The weather was fair, around 60 degrees.
She was hit semi head on, almost at an acute angle.
Her car flipped one time and landed on its hood, the hood was crushed in and the back of the car was compacted.
I managed to rip the frame off and pull her out, she had a bad laceration to her head, her daughter was crying, but surprisingly not badly injured.

Now here's where I tear up typing this....

I got the female to the side of the road, she, of course, was highly disorientated.
I asked her, her name, and she replied, my son...

My friend was with the drunk driver, who's car had continued into the medium, ending up some 100 feet from her car.

I couldn't figure out what she meant at first, as my mind was racing.
That is, until I turned around and saw a very young boy with blond hair, trapped in the back passenger seat of the compacted car.

He had to be no more than 3 or 4(he was 4), he was in tears, his little hands pounding on the right rear passenger window. He pounded the window with all he had.

I pivoted on my foot, aligned myself to run to him..

I never made it.

The car, as soon as I barely stepped down one step, exploded.

I watched it go up in flames, the image of him pounding the window, with tears in his eyes, burning up is the last thing I remember.

This was 1996, he would have celebrated his 18th birthday on December 19th.

I was called a hero for helping, but in my heart I couldn't save him.
His name was Tyler, and I watched him die.
Now I ask you guys and gals this,
am I a murderer?
If only I had been faster, or checked the car over, which I did to no avail, perhaps he would still be here.

I was trained to be a soldier, trained to work as a cop, trained to survive, but no one can be trained to see a 4 year old die in front of them.

Do you think he forgives me in heaven? Did I fuck up? I saved her daughter and her, but looking into Tyler's eyes, I saw myself.
I saw a trapped scared little boy. Just like me. I'm breaking down typing this, I doubt I can ever forgive myself, but I thank you for reading this.

Please share some of your strife and please allow me to help if I can, that is the one and possibly only thing that makes me actually smile now.

-Dan

 

Dude...

 

I kind of hate trying to help somebody that has been through something such as a horrific event, loss of a family member, witness a death, etc., as I can never relate to it. I don't have any traumatic experiences to think of with the only near death experience I've had being when I was still a very young baby. Regardless though, I still try to help, as it's part of my nature.

You did what you could Dan. In a situation such as that, nobody's mind is made to work like a machine. You managed to save two human lives, two lives that could continue on living. That can never remove the images, and I'm sure nobody can truly make you feel any different about what happened. You just need to know that you aren't a murderer and should never think of yourself in that sense. The fact that you were able to jump into action in such a way saved people that would have died if you weren't there is amazing, as many would be stunned, just looking to call for help, not willing to put themselves in harms way.

As I said, I can not compare my own life experiences. I have no traumatic experiences to relate to. I just hope to help people best that I can with the knowledge that I have.

 

You tried Nathan. Thank you, I do believe I am going to pull this down soon. It's not right to bring others down due to my failure.

Thank you irregardless.

 

Same...

We cant all be superman, we can't help everyone, you did what you could at the time...

 

I don't wanna quote everything I told you the last time, so I'll just tell you that you're only a failure when you make yourself a failure.

 

You didnt fail. that woman will always thank you for saving her life and making it so one of her children was with her. if you hadnt done what you did that family would've been torn to shreds. i'm not saying she wont miss her son but time will heal that wound for her and it should for you as well cause u really are a good person despite what you think of yourself.

 

Time doesnt heal all wounds, he was 17 when this happened, he's 31 now...


Still, it's made him what he is today, and that isnt totally a bad thing.

 

We can't change the past. Everything that happens to us shapes who we are; it's because of our past, regrets and all, that we are who we are today. To deny what has is to deny what is.

One of the origin stories for the margarita cocktail is that the regrets of a bartender named John Durlesser, whose girlfriend was killed in a hunting accident some twenty years prior, led to its creation.

There's another story about a man who regretted not following his theatre dreams. As a result, he couldn't face the past self he felt he had betrayed, and instead directed his focus to the future and led his company to success.

Gentlemen, don't let the past hold you down.

 

You didn't really have to save anyone. People would've died without the help. You didn't kill anybody, you saved two people.

 

You're not responsible for his dead. You're his hero, I'm sure of that.

I know it's short, but I'm a little speechless right now.

 

I'm agree with all those guys here..

but, man.. oh god. I'm speechless. Truly.

 

Thats just like a rip-off from Loony -_-... nvm
As for ded, you know you cant help someone who has encounterd those things, not by posting atleased!

 

All of you have my gratitude for your kind words.
I prayed to God to find a way to cope for this, and he sent a few true miracles my way.

Loony, Tehuber, Devon, Meganova, Nathan Drake, Kiekoes, Cameron, Hypnos, Nitemare, and Stan.

I may never see myself as a hero, but I can at least say I was in the presence of some of God's finest to grace this forum.

My thanks to you all, please let the regret go, I ask this of you.
Regret is the cancer of the soul, and it will eat you alive, from the inside out.

You have my respect, and you truly have my heartfelt thanks.

I just hope and pray I can be a good man, so I may see Tyler once again. I have to make this life count, if nothing more than to show that even cowards can persevere.

Loony I have no brothers or sisters in real life, but I'd be proud to call you my brother.
Same to you all, my brothers(and one sister-nitemare) in arms.