Chuck Norris Jokes

Heres my favorite (sings) the best part of waking up(yells like a crazy maniac) IS KNOWING THAT CHUCK NORRIS DIDN'T KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP.

 

Are stupid

oh wait, i think i'm doing it wrong

 

chuck norris' tears cure cancer. Its too bad that chuck norris cries for no one.

 

Chuck norris once cut out his right nut and lived. this massive object is known as the planet Jupiter

 

Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat the Royal Flush.

 

chuck norris once entered a game of russian roullette with a shotgun and won

 

7. Chuck Norris never cuts his lawn, he just dares it to grow.

 

8. Chuck Norris is late for a meeting time better slow the F**k down

 

9.If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble you win, FOREVER

 

10. If you spell Chuk Norris's name wrong anywhere you'll get an E-mail saying run while you still can

Hey look I got an E-mail run while you still can WHHHHAAAAABLLLLLAAAAAM *gets hit by mighty round house kick through window and dies*

 

11. Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

 

12. Chuck Norris once said he doesn't like these jokes like myself.

 

13. 4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.

 

14There’s an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris… Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.

 

Chuck Norris sleeps with a nightlight not because he's scared of the dark but because the dark is scared of Chuck Norris

 

There are so many chuck norris jokes that he kicked each and everyone's ass that came up with them because they under-state how awesome he was.

 

17. Chuck Norris doesn't do all the daylight saving-time Sh*t he just tells the sun when to go down and come up

 

18. Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.

 

Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear

 

When Chuck Norris talk, everyone listens and DIE!!